Motivation Peek

Roots of Wisdom

2009-10-14T15:07:00.000-07:00

This is me standing outside St Anthony Church, waiting for Taxi on 27th September 2009.

Opened my eyes, sat on my bed, put on my spectacle and looked at the clock. It is 6 O'clock. Had insomnia(cannot sleep) last night. Whole night I was full of thoughts, flowing non-stop, not within my control. I want to sleep but cannot sleep. I want to stop thinking but cannot stop either. I cannot remember what time I had dozed off... but it was just a 'close' of my eyes intermittently and later 'awoke' again, still cannot get asleep. I was so worried that I might not have the right amount of sleep and the right amount of energy to look after Isaac.

Inspired, Motivated
However, surprisingly, I am awoke now, feeling refreshed, very energetic, very motivated still. Everybody is sleeping now. Isaac is sleeping sounding, so is Richard Toh.

As soon as I am awoke, I quickly on my computer which is beside my bed. I do not want to miss out this 'feeling' this important moment of 'inspiration'.

Who Is God
I have grasped the Roots of Wisdom -- the meaning of life OF MY LIFE. It is just too funny. It is a JOKE, a crazy joke... I would need to take TIME to share with everybody. This is my story, my journey of searching for the meaning of life and my journey of searching for 'God'.
Mother Nature
As I was typing these, my children's alarm clock rang. Clara walked to my room! Women are just women --- woman is made to be as such...

Birds chirping sweetly now. How nice the sound of nature...

Achievements
Knowledge is power. All words and no action is nothing. Do not keep talking and neglect your work. Have a balanced lifestyle. Listen to 'Mother Nature'... Discover the Kingdom of God, the wonders of life...

Religion: The Catholic Faith Soon To be Revealed

I have to thank too many people in my life, especially my brothers .

Success: Mind Renewed, Transformation
Can you imagine, I took almost 3hrs to do this post. It is 8.20am now and I am back here to continue my post. This is how busy am I and my house is still as messy and I am still in debt, but I am feeling inspired and has found my 'achievement'. Yet, success is a journey that never ends its destination. One goal accomplished, many tasks followed to be accomplished...

Since I have not update this website for some time, here are some links to show some of my recent posts:

Wonders of Holy Spirit
Double Happiness
Pride Comes Before A Downfall
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
Lucky Stars

Beauty IS More Than Skin Deep

2008-09-17T03:32:00.000-07:00

You Are Your Own Fortune-Teller
I thought that the destiny of our life lies in our hands, but it turns out that our destiny lies in the hands of God! We are all the creation of God, and we are nothing without God. God is the master of the world and of its history.

Now I don't Need To Go
I was dead. I SURVIVED. What I had written are all the truth, good and bad. It is unbelievable. It would not be possible to write so many posts and blogs within a day of work and even a week. I am still trying to 'recover' from this amazing truth. The amazing facts all I witnessed, and all the 'supernatural' things I encountered, only I KNOW, and it only HAPPEN IN ME, and IN MY BRAIN.

What A JOKE
Rooster year, the rooster ran away, dog year the dog died, the pig year, the pig got sick, the rat year, the pig transformed and was transcended....

Will To Stay Alive: The pig survived for 36 days buried beneath rubble and survived on water and a bag of charcoal...

IGNORANCE Kills.... Take The Lead...

Ignorance Is Risk

Being Ethical
It is so sad to see how SUPERFICIAL some people think. Those people who talk so much are people who knows too little, and trying to ACT SMART, ACT to know a lot. People who knows have hard time explaining...ha ha ha....lol, this is a crazy world, a world called 'upside-down'.

Don't Judge a Book By its Cover
Though the cover may look attractive, for it is the first thing you see, and it is the first thing that struck you. If it is not attractive, you would not even give it a chance to look into the book to see what it has to offer. A good book, flipped and flipped over and over again, will finally drop its cover... The ultimate judge is the ability to discern. It is to see everything, reason everything, and still EVERYTHING COUNT.

ONE WORD: HONESTY
With this word, you will never go wrong. If you are in the first hand, thinking of the wrong way to 'lure' people into your 'territory', so that you can 'devour' them, you can only have 'one meal'. If you have done it HONOURABLY, and you have done it GLAMOUROUSLY and GRACIOUSLY, PROFESSIONALLY, you would 'devour' the whole world.

Animals KNOW NOT of MONEY
If I die, I would died in GLORY and In HONOUR, not for MONEY, but for Human RIGHTS -- Doing the RIGHT thing IN the EYES of GOD, with all the angels and Saints.

BioFocus "International" Pte Ltd

Beauty is not only skin deep. Having helped numerous customers achieving their desired results, we understand EVERY PERSON has VARIED and DIFFERENT NEEDS.

Well said! And WELL.... The Meaning of TRUE BEAUTY...??

BEAUTY, SLIMMING, IMAGE ACADEMY

With Reference TO:

The Free Gift:

Women’s Business
Facial Company Sue Customer

…Not DEAD yet… don’t know when is the last day yet:
BioFocus International Experience
Modern Cosmetology
BioFocus International
Pay To Suffer

Facial Company Sue Customer Matter:

Singapore I: The Divine Revelation; Moulding Our Nation
NUS REPUTATION:Singapore II: Answer Will Soon Be Out
Developing Courage
Do You Want To Save Your Mother
Unity Is Strength

MONEY OR LIFE

World Class Education

Let The Dogs Bark

Service To The Nation

2008-08-25T23:01:00.000-07:00

萬水千山縱橫

Music describes my emotion.

National Service: WHAT IT REALLY MEANS
My official National Service begins and it is now fighting, fighting for my nation, my Singapore. We must reshape our nation, see justice to be done to our people.

Just finished my 'pai sai' (passed motion), after I had finished published this comment on my blog post on BioFocus International Experience.

WHO CAN BE MORE POWERFUL THAN GOD, the original creator
God is so wonderful. He gave me all the encouragement FIRST before I 'happened' to see this comment. I did nothing wrong. I do not even know who is the director of this company. I do not even know her face. Who publish all the comment? It is all email and name. The real identity, nobody knows. But, in court, I know that I need to swear in front of the Bible! It is God who inspired people who write the BIBLE! DON"T YOU FIND IT WEIRD AND FUNNY IF I AM GOING TO BE SCARED TO BE CALLED TO HIGH COURT if all that I had wrote, all that I had done in all my blogs are all my honest experience and feelings.

AUTHOR OF THE BIBLE
Who had seen GOD? God came to my room. It was Jesus who talked to me,"Follow ME". Who had saved me, save the nation? I was almost turned into a creature that wants to "SUCK BLOOD", my children all turning weak and feverish (the temper was hot). They were all thirsty and 'weak' lying in my brother's car. Nobody know what is happening inside me, except myself. I tell you, would you believe me? I show you all the photographs would you believe me? Why should I lie here in my blogs and why should I hurt anybody who is of no concern to me?

Who are of concern to me?
My family. Who are my family? My mother, my father, my brothers, my sister, my nieces, my nephews, my in-laws, all. Did I say bad things about anyone of them? Did I make up any stories of what is untrue?

Evidence
Everything can be traced. The church got eyes to see. The hospital got eyes also.

What the clouds show: The Rabbit Racing. Who is the rabbit?

What happens to the rabbit today?

Elephant head or crocodile head? The sky the limit, let the imagination run wild

Which is the truth? Tales or Tails? or Head or Heads?

This picture shows even clearer of the rays of light as revealed from heaven above.... "THE THRONE" I called, the bluish-white light.

What it means to be a Catholic? What it means to be a christian? What it means to be truthful to myself? If I had to go back to my post to amend anything that I had written, then I am fooling everybody. That is not called righteous. By what I am doing today, I understand what it is mean by RIGHTEOUS, what it means by integrity, and what it means CHARACTER, and what it means to have FAITH. Faith is trust in GOD, and regardless of my outcome, I trust the Lord, I trust in you, Jesus.

Photo taken at St Francis Church of Assisi on 22.8.2008

Faith is the yardstick by which your portion in life will be measured to you. "According to your faith be it unto you" (Matthew 9:29)

Live Your Life With Courage
Courage and Heroes
Courage

My Service to God, My service to the nation, my pride, NOT MONEY, but RIGHTEOUSNESS.

Supernatural Force

2008-06-16T08:51:00.000-07:00

This is a bottle a wine given to me by my mother. My mother bought a few, gave me and my sister this Merlion Wine. My sister has two at home, put at her display cabinet, at the upper most shelf.

The name of this wine is 'Hua Tiao Jiu', and this is a product of China.

At my home, I placed mine inside the cupboard. I am scared to see the 'face' of the Merlion, as in this bottle of wine -- until now, it is kept in my cupboard.

The Unseen Force
Today, I want to talk about this Merlion Head because the Sacred Heart on my altar moved -- shift in position. At that moment, it was this 'similar' experience which came to my mind. My merlion head did not move, but My Sister's Merlion Head Moved during one year. I had forgotten which year it was. I only can remember what I saw on that day and what had happened based on what I heard and saw.

Possession or Mental Illness ? Doctor any Cure?
Over the years, since the day I had learned to remember things and know my sister, she had always had 'funny' things happened to her. Mention more next time. The most serious case was this one, her 'possession' and it was during these days where she had seemed to forget everything, except her children. She did not even know how to eat (hold chopsticks), did not know how to go toilet etc. At her home, ALL windows were closed. She also wanted to jump down from the building the night before (the husband said). But the husband locked the door and kept the keys.

Matters of The Brain
On that day where I received this news that she was unwell, I went to see her. She is my sister, of course I cared for her, even though she may be 'harsh' to me at times. She threw away lots of things, and she did not remember where she put her things the next moment. She just sat on the chair most of the time during the time we went there, at her home.

Merlion Head Moved/Turned
I walked around the house, and I saw that there were candles almost everywhere (not really everywhere but most of the places). Something strange and really the most remarkable thing which I had remembered until now was the turning of the Merlion Head. The Merlion Head was turned inwards in her display cabinet. My sister would not have put the Merlion Head in such position in her display cabinet. I knew her for so long, I know her. I opened the cabinet, and I turned the Merlion head back, facing outwards, the 'audience'.

The Catholic Faith
On that day, I saw Prayers 'script' on my sister's wallet -- Virgin Mary, if I remembered correctly. My sister prayed everything in Chinese because she was from Chinese school. She bought a 3-D picture of the Last Supper from Ginza Plaza. That was the time we went shopping together and she was so 'loved' so inclined to buy that piece of 3D Last Supper artwork (not cheap), but she bought it anyway...

POWER OF GOD, Jesus Son of God, Son of Man
I never know the POWER of GOD. I never really KNOW the POWER OF JESUS' NAME. I never, NEVER even know about the name SACRED HEART, even though I already OWN a bookmark of it (something which I had already bought it myself during my younger days, but was not AWARE). But today, and since last year, and over the years, so much things had happened, and what I had seen and now experienced, there is really SPIRITS and there is really a creator in this world, GOD, and the BIBLE is TRUTH, they were all people who feel the need to write, when INSPIRED by GOD, the need to "LET IT OUT".

Believe To SEE

2008-04-29T21:53:00.000-07:00

Blessed Be God,
Blessed Be God,
Blessed Be God,
Forever Amen..........

I Cannot Stop The Music
I cannot finish writing, I cannot finish the flow, it is 'River of Babylon'! The water is flowing profusely non-stop, the music starts, the birds singing, the work began, the world is crazy, upside-down.

I am Mad Because I LIKE MATHS
But I like it, I LIKE IT. My clock is rewinding, I am watching and I am laughing. But I am moving on, moving on, walking not alone, with birds I see, flowers I see, SCHOOL BUSES I see and SCHOOL CHILDREN I LEARN, my motivation, my encouragement of life.

Wear Pyjamas learn swimming, who ever did that? Draw snake add legs, 画蛇添足

Too creative, very imaginative.......

An Upside down world, toppling down, everything, who are blind????? Whose eyes got stamps -- mak jiu da stamp?? (teochew: mak jiu = eyes, da=affixed)

Who is the last one to be my witness? Who is the one I asked this question, and who is the one who answer my question? It is all the reverse now, REVERSE, REVERSE!!!!!!

The Integration Symbol, Sigmoid Curve, A Maths
Cycling on the pathway, seen beautiful Betel Nut Palm with fruits. Watched sports channel here, while eating Chicken rice. Saw Spain league, WoW, I like it. Saw a black butterfly with yellow dot this time on the MacArthur Palm tree. The myna flying and playing.

Chinese 'Idol' which people worship as God I see. Catholic breaking the 'rules', broken world time to heal.

My journey of Life, questions of the heart has finally paid off, my questions answered; Questions Are The Answers!!!!

HOPE I FOUND, Journey Looked Forward
I want to thank World Bible School, the so far truth I have learned, and I looked forward to complete the course, as I am only half pail water, a lot to learn about God. So much things to learn.

Save The World, Save Ourselves
Mother's Day Best Gift, my wish, my dream, I look forward. Jesus, my leader, Jesus I follow, he carried, with me on his shoulder, I walk and see birds, see 风云变

My Pride
This Great Life I experienced, living with Hope, living with Mission, living with Purpose to fulfill. My first step, my belief, has paid off. I am feeling Happy, HAPPINESS!

Reasons Behind You

2007-12-21T04:25:00.000-08:00

What is great life? While visiting blogs, I had seen articles written Kathy Gates, Professional Life Coach, posted by Bloggers. Kathy shared with people 7 secrets of a Great Life. Indeed they are true. Today I visit Popular. I saw books on Achieving a Happy Life, Achieving your dreams, but I never flip the book. I never pick up the book. I continued to walk, looking at titles of books. I saw "An inspiring book by a girl, SHAME, real story but names changed to protect identity of the person." Besides the book is another book, 'the diary of a dog" and above it, "The science of Getting Rich". I had seen so many people talking about it on the internet. I took the book and managed to read half the page, and after that I had to go.

I had been asking myself, subconsciously, am I leading the correct life? Today, someone asked me, "Hey, both you and your husband not working, how you sustain living?" I shall deal with this in another blog, another post.

My Views of Great Life

The Power Of Belief - Anthony Robbins

1. Beliefs
What is your beliefs in life? This is actually your goals of life, purpose of living and your life motto.

Before you sell insurance, you have to believe that life insurance is good. Life insurance helps families. Knowing the importance of insurance, you will appreciate what you sell. You believe that your job is a noble one. Even though you had lots of rejections, but ultimately you will help many innocent victims, the family of the deceased in future.

That is belief related to your work. You may be working as real estate agent. It works the same way. Why do you want to work real estate? Is it for money, as people said you can earn lots of commission by selling a billion dollars property? Or do you work in real estate because of other reasons? I believe that people do things for their own reasons. People do not need to tell you their reasons but to those people who aspire to succeed for their dreams, they always have a reason.

What is your belief if your job is a teacher? You ought to know what is your job and you must be able to believe that you are able to inculcate your values and knowledge to your students. To the school teacher, you believe that what you say and what you do will affect and influence the children. You gain self-satisfaction when you see your children's progress. If you love your job, you will believe that hardwork, patience and love will ultimately change the weaker students. You would want be happy to see your children succeed in future.

When you have beliefs in your life, it is anaglous to holding a microphone in front of the audience, regardless of where you are, what work you do. Holding the microphone will always remind you that what you say, what you do is all for your beliefs. Your beliefs would ultimately be subscious, you do not need to think about your beliefs, memorize it or rehearse it. Holding the microphone, whatever things you say and do is all for the GOOD of people around you. For example, selling insurance, teaching your students, helping your friends/prospects to find their perfect homes, and so on.

At work, you hold on to your working microphone. At home, what microphone do you use? At social gathering or function, do you use another microphone? At the market, at the shopping centre, at the factory, at the ballroom, regardless of where you are, what kind of microphone are you using? You saw singers singing with their microphones, there are different styles of holding the microphone, there are microphones which are loud enough for audience to listen clearly. There are lousy microphones which people at the back cannot hear the singers clearly.

If you belief what you are doing is correct, and it is true, holding your microphone (your beliefs), you will be able to support your own viewpoints, your backup for your own action, when you face with objections and obstacles. If you are very sure of your belief, you will be able to face objections. This is because you know very well what you are doing. You have all the reasons to support your action.

Not all our beliefs are correct. Not all our beliefs are good. Sometimes, we need friends or even strangers to enlighten us. When we found that our beliefs are wrong, then it should be corrected and discontinued immediately. For example, the belief that drug taking is a good way to solve problems, the belief that you are always right (and you always want people to do what you want or according to what you think!).

I have not studied philosophy, I have not studied psychology, but according to what I had learned and experience in my life, this is my believe of beliefs. This is what I believe about beliefs and that beliefs is the first thing which leads to what you choose to do in lives (making decision), and ultimately lead to other aspects of life.

My Views of Great Life Will be Continued in the next post.

Here is a poem about Heart by Wordsworth. Wordsworth, the young democrat and supporter of the French Revolution, finds nothing as inspiring and liberating in the life of his own country.

The World Is Too Much with Us
The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon,
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers,
For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
It moves us not. Great God! I'd rather be
A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus coming from the sea;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathed horn.

More Inspirational Poems

Secrets To Great Life

2007-12-20T02:27:00.000-08:00

Painting By Claude Monet

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now. ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

7 SECRETS To a Great Life
By Kathy Gates

A great life doesn't happen by accident. A great life is the result of allocating your time, energy, thoughts, and hard work towards what you want your life to be. Stop setting yourself up for stress and failure, and start setting up your life to support success and ease. A great life is the result of using the 24/7 you get in a creative and thoughtful way, instead of just what comes next. Customize these "secrets" to fit your own needs and style, and start creating your own great life today!

1. S - Simplify. A great life is the result of simplifying your life. People often misinterpret what simplify means. It's not a way to remove work from your life. When you focus on simplifying your life, you free up energy and time for the work that you enjoy and the purpose for which you are here. In order to create a great life, you will have to make room for it in yours first.

2. E - Effort. A great life is the result of your best effort. Creating a great life requires that you make some adjustments. It may mean re-evaluating how you spend your time, or choosing to spend your money in a different way. It may mean looking for new ways to spend your energy that coincide with your particular definition of a great life. Life will reward your best effort.

3. C - Create Priorities. A great life is the result of creating priorities. It's easy to spend your days just responding to the next thing that gets your attention, instead of intentionally using the time, energy and money you have in a way that's important to you. Focus on removing the obstacles that get in the way of you making sure you are honoring your priorities.

4. R - Reserves. A great life is the result of having reserves - reserves of things, time, space, energy, money. With reserves, you acquire far more than you need - not 6 months living expenses, but 5 years worth; not 15 minutes of free time, 1 day. Reserves are important because they reduce the fear of consequences, and that allows you to make decisions based on what you really want instead of what the fear decides for you.

5. E - Eliminate distractions. A great life is the result of eliminating distractions. Up to 75% of your mental energy can be tied up in things that are draining and distracting you. Eliminating distractions can be a difficult concept to many people, since they haven't really considered that there is another way to live. Look around at someone's life you admire. What do they do that you would like to incorporate into your own life? Ask them how they did it. Find ways to free up your mental energy for things that are more important to you.

6. T - Thoughts. A great life is the result of controlling your thoughts so that you accept and allow for the possibility that it actually can happen to you! Your belief in the outcome will directly dictate how successful you are. Motivated people have specific goals and look for ways to achieve them. Believing there is a solution to the same old problems you encounter year after year is vitally important to creating a life that you love. Whatever you think and believe, you create. Listen to what you're telling yourself, and adjust that voice if you need to.

7. S - Start! A great life is the result of starting. There's the old saying everyone's familiar with "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." In order to even move from the couch to the refrigerator, you have to start. There's no better time to start than today. Don't wait for a raise, or until the kids get older, or the weather is better. Today, right now, is the right day to start to take a step in the direction of your heart's desires. It's what you do TODAY that will make a difference in your life tomorrow.

Kathy Gates is a Personal Life Coach who believes that "Life Rewards Action". Visit www.reallifecoach.com for more information, or email Kathy@reallifecoach.com, or 480.998.5843.

Quotes About Life

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.

More Quotes About Life
Living Life with Meaning
Best Life Quotes

What Is Belief

2007-12-19T07:12:00.000-08:00

Belief: 1. The mental act, condition, or habit of placing trust or confidence in a person or thing; faith. 2. Mental acceptance or conviction in the truth or actuality of something. 3. Something believed or accepted as true; especially, a particular tenet, or a body of tenets, accepted by a group of persons.

Believe: 1 To accept as true or real. 2. To credit with veracity; have confidence in; trust.

In its simplest form, belief occurs as a mental act, a thinking process in the brain. To "believe" requires a conscious thought accepted as having some "truth" value. To communicate this thought requires spoken or written language. Not only does belief require thought but also a mental feeling of "truth" which according to neurological brain research, occurs from the limbic part of the brain (discussed in the mechanism of belief, later in this paper). Thus, belief occurs as a thought with a truth-value feeling attached.

Most simple beliefs come from the expression of the experience of external events. From past experience, for example, people believe that dark clouds can produce rain, therefore, we attempt to predict the weather by forecasting from past events. Indeed, the intent of most beliefs aim at predicting the future in some form or another. However, to believe that an event will occur can produce disappointment if the prediction never happens. To make a prediction based on past events alone does not require believing in the future event, but rather, a good guess as to what may or may not happen. We can eliminate many of these simple beliefs by replacing the word "believe" with the word "think." The word "think" describes the mental process of predicting instead of relying on the abstraction of belief which reflects a hope which may not happen. And if we replaced aristotelian either-or beliefs with statistical thinking we would reflect probable events instead of believed events.

Belief represents a type of conscious mental thought, a subclass of many kinds of mental activity. Thinking may or may not include beliefs or faiths. Therefore, when I use the word "think" I mean it to represent thought absent of belief.

Many kinds of concepts occur without the need for belief. People can invent rules, maps, games, social laws, and models without requiring a belief or absolute trust in them. For example, a map may prove useful to get from point A to point B, but to believe that the map equals the territory would produce a falsehood. Humans invented the game of baseball, but it requires no need to believe in the game, or to attach some kind of "truth" to it. People can enjoy baseball, simply for the game itself. Technological societies invent "rules of the road" and construct traffic lights, signs and warnings. We do not take these rules as absolute but realize that they form a system of conduct that allow mass transit to exist. If any confidence results from the use of models and rules, it should come from experience of past events predicted by the models rather than from the thoughts themselves.

Personal beliefs come in all shapes and sizes. Some are rational and sensible while others are outright misguided, occasionally veering into mental pathology or emotional instability. Pschologists and researchs have shown that belief is highly entangled with language. If there is a word for something we tend to believe it must exist, as in the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis. Like it or not, most people 'language' their reality into existence. This is one reason why people from different countries have difficulty 'understanding' one another, because beliefs are wrapped in language and culture.

It is wise to remember that personal beliefs do not form in a vacuum. They are deliberately germinated and nurtured—first from one's family and then by society at large—sustained through repetition, presumption, coercion, compulsion, even complacency and laziness. How one views the world or embraces religion, science, and politics, is usually decided by the geographical and economical location of one's birthplace—sometimes very little more.

Education plays an important role as well, wherein those who've earned college degrees typically hold views decidely more analytic and scientifically-oriented than those who have not. This is quite understandable. It is in college that students learn the importance of critical thinking, dedicated research, asking informed questions and the testing of hypotheses, provided their schools are not constrained by proprietary political ideology or narrow religious doctrine (both of which severely hamper the free exchange and gathering of contrary information).

Education plays an important role as well, wherein those who've earned college degrees typically hold views decidedly more analytic and scientifically-oriented than those who have not. This is quite understandable. It is in college that students learn the importance of critical thinking, dedicated research, asking informed questions and the testing of hypotheses, provided their schools are not constrained by proprietary political ideology or narrow religious doctrine (both of which severely hamper the free exchange and gathering of contrary information).

Read More
Exploring Mind, Memory and Psychology of Belief
Problems with Beliefs

Motivational Quotes About Life

2007-09-26T02:21:00.000-07:00

歌衫淚影 ( 梅艷芳)

Life is hard or easy, it all depends on what you want and what is your expectations. If you have high expectations, you will often get disappointments. If you have no expectations, your work will not achieve excellence.

What is the meaning of life? Why do we have to go through all the sufferings of life and yet when you leave the world, you have nothing to bring along with you?

I am lead by God, my inspiration, his inspiration, to make another video here above. This is a song which I loved. It was sung by Anita Mui. I watched the show with my brother. This is a song that never tired me. Anita Mui's voice is the most powerful and unique of all. May you enjoy this song and get motivated with life when you are down.

Besides the quotes in the video, here are more motivational quotes:

The galleries are full of critics. They play no ball, they fight no fights. They make no mistakes because they attempt nothing. And yet it cannot be truly said they make no mistakes, because their biggest mistake is the very fact that they try nothing, do nothing, except criticize those who do. ~ David Shoup

Stop the habit of wishful thinking and start the habit of thoughtful wishes. ~ Mary Martin

The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do. ~ Jozef Imrich

The difference between a helping hand and an outstretched palm is a twist of the wrist. ~ Laurence Leamer

A dog in a kennel barks at his fleas; a dog hunting does not notice them. ~ Chinese proverb

The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. ~ Lily Tomin

If I thought I was going to die tomorrow, I should nevertheless plant a tree today. ~ Shephan Girard.

The victorious count their years; the virtuous count their actions. ~ Samuel Johnson

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. ~ Buddha

Before you become a critic, have you dared to act? Trust life to take you where you need to go. The most successful are those who act for others -- and have stopped counting. Be too busy to complain. Make your wishes worth fulfilling.

Motivation From Song

2007-07-28T06:06:00.000-07:00

Song has the power to motivate, inspire and heal. Songs are means of communication between lovers in TV shows or movies -- we often see in Tamil shows or ancient Chinese songs, the male actors or female actresses will sing to each other when they are courting or in love. Songs are sang by people who are in sorrows as well. Songs serve as a means of motivation and inspiration for the soul too -- that is why we have Christian hymns, inspirational music and so on to soothe our soul.

Helium is a place for me to write and express my views. Helium is a place where I can earn money. I need to earn money to make a daily living. However, Helium is not a place where you can be rich if you are seeking wealth. The remuneration is very little. However, I do not mind the little amounts as every drop makes an ocean for me. Most importantly, I am spreading God's love. For people who have similar problems like me, for people who have doubts in God, who people who do not know who is God, let me share my experience with you.

I had found this topic "Do you have a song in your heart?" a few weeks ago when I had last written at Helium. For two days I had been searching for this song, since I had found a song in my heart now. For two days I had not found it and today I had spent some time searching for it. And I had finally found it. Read my story below:

Do you have a song in your heart?
People sing song when they are happy. We always see in Tamil shows or movies, the Indians will sing songs when they are happy or when there is celebrations. That goes for the ancient Chinese shows as well. In our daily life, sometimes we even hum a song, sing a song or two while we are doing work and even during bathing. As for me, I do not have any song at all all these years. I will sing a song, hum a song whenever I hear them.

Just a few weeks ago, when I saw this topic, I never wrote on it because I do not have a song in my heart. However, on 25th July 2007, I discovered a song, a song which I had never knew before. You can refer to my post at Peaceinspiration.com, one of my blog -- The title of the post is Touched by God's Power: http://www.peaceinspiration.com/2007/07/25/touched-by-gods-power/.

To me, the song is of great significance to me. I am indeed very touched. How can there be so much coincidence in my life? All this must be the 'magical' power of God. On 25th July 2007, a day where I was down and gloomy, God had 'sent' me this song, Chiquitita. Chiquitita is the song in my heart now. It is a very meaningful song. My ex-boyfriend had dedicated a song, The Most Beautiful Girl In The World to me before. That is a meaningful song to me. However, it was never a song in my heart. It would be a nice memory perhaps. But Chiquitita is different. It is a song, a message and a means of communication of God to me. The song lyrics were all so relevant. It begins with "Chiquitita, you’re enchained by your own sorrow. In your eyes, there is no hope for tomorrow, How I hate to see you like this? There is no way you can deny it. I can see that you’re oh so sad, so quiet. Tell me what's wrong...."

Chiquitita means little girl. I regard this song as what God is trying to tell me his message. Indeed they were. God is helping me. I was relieved and was 'awakened' at that point, when I attempted to find the song at YouTube. I was filled with awe when I see those lyrics for the first time. It is definitely a song in my heart now, Chiquitita, for it is my song of encouragement, a song for me a "try again once more... like I did before" just like what the lyrics in Chiquitita had said -- "Chiquitita, you and I know; how the heartaches come and they go and the scars they’re leavin’; you’ll be dancin’ once again and the pain will end; you will have no time for grievin’, Chiquitita you and I cry; but the sun is still in the sky and shining above you. Let me hear you sing once more, like you did before; sing a new song Chiquitita try once more like you did before ..."

Chiquitita is definitely a song in my heart. Through Chiquitita, I had known that God is always there for me. I can always rely on him. Whenever I am down, I would be reminded of this song, which God is telling me I can tell him about my sorrows. I should pray to God and have faith in God.

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Abba - Chiquitita - karaoke video

May those who are facing hardships and the sorrows of life find motivation from this song Chiquitita and pray to God. Talk to God your problem and you can rely on him. He is the one you can trust and depend on. To the depressed, there is always a way out. There is always someone who will help you.

Links to more songs
Cantonese Songs
English Songs

The Virtuous Woman

2007-07-24T03:04:00.000-07:00

The only reward of virtue is virtue. Virtue consists, not in abstaining form vice, but in not desiring it.

A woman is not complete if she is single. A complete woman is one who undergo the process of marriage, pregnancy and child-bearing in her life. For the complete woman, life is a challenge to her. For the complete woman, it is not easy to be the perfect woman in this society. A perfect woman is someone who is able to look after the home as well as to bring in income for the home. At the workplace, the woman had to place all her heart and soul in her work ( but most of the time half her soul goes back to the children). Back home, the woman had to cater to the needs of the children and the husband. The woman had to bring her work back home too. The woman had hardly time for herself.

I am a woman, my mother is a woman, my sister is a woman. My sister-in-laws are woman. My mother-in-law is a woman too. My nieces are woman as well. I might not know much about my girlfriends' life as a woman, but I have so many 'close' women around me. Their lives, I can see. My life, I can feel and experienced. I understand woman and women -- What the men do not know and does not understand.

I have made a video with the song, "Only Love" by Trademark. What makes all these women in my life, holding on to their relationships and clinging on to their families despite all the men's betrayals and dishonesty? Besides virtues, there is got to be "Only Love". Love is what keeps the women 'moving' forward and looking forward everyday for another better day. I have added in motivational quotes in the video. I believe every women need motivation. Life is hard and motivational quotes will help the women to stay strong and strive for the better every day.

Only Love - Trademark

This is what I had written at Helium about Women and Virtue. It is just my personal view. It is impossible to have a perfect world where all women will be virtuous. However, that would be a nice and perfect world to live in.

Women and virtue
Eve had disobeyed God. She could not resist the temptation of eating the forbidden fruit from the Garden of Eden. Eve had chosen to believe the serpent than God. She had urged Adam, his husband to taste the forbidden fruit, though Adam was reluctant initially. After Even's persuasion and persistence, Adam and Eve tried the forbidden fruit, which God had come to know about it. That was the day where the first human had betrayed God and sins was passed down from generations to generations.

Many problems in this world involved the women. Where there is man and woman, there is love. Where there is love there is hatred. Money are essential to human's life and money is also the cause of many evils doing in this world. Love is also the resultant consequences of many unhappy grudges and hatred that exist among love rivalries.

Human beings who are never content with their life, seek to find more money and ways to increase wealth in their life. Women who has no sense of morality, right or wrong in their principles, seek for married men and even old men, for the purpose of money and not for love. They can resort to anything such as destroying the family of the married men or to indirectly caused the death of the old men so as to attain all his inheritance. Single women who wanted to have more money retort to clubbing, engage in part-time night hostess and 'sell the bodies' to men who are willing to offer a big sum for their virginity or sex. Men who cannot resist such temptation tell lies to families, seek ways to stop their workforce, so as to experience the 'taste' of 'merry-making' with these 'hot babes'. In order to have more clients to their patronage, some women 'drugged' their patrons, so that these men will always be 'happier' with them. There are just too many kinds of immoral women around.

It takes two to tango. It needs two hands to produce a clap. If all the women in this world is virtuous, this world would be a better place definitely. For one thing, aids will not be on the rise, though there are still the homosexuals around. However, if all women are of great virtue, they would be peace in family and peace in the nation.

A woman of virtue knows what is right and wrong. A virtuous woman will do what is morally right. For the single women, they observe chastity, and command the respect of every men who have every rights to woo them. Sex in the religion, is something that is practiced only after the couple is married. For the married woman and man, sex is meant to the for the two of them. There should not be any adultery. Single woman should not go after married man and single man should not go after married woman also. This also means that married men and women should not be the third parties in a married couple.

A woman of virtue would place the welfare of her family in her heart. She knows the meaning of ethics and she follows her principles of life. A virtuous woman should know when to say "No" and she has a great sense of discernment. She is not greedy. For being contented, a woman of virtue has love for her family and herself. Following her own code of ethics, the woman of virtue does not succumb herself to temptation easily. A woman of virtue should be what every woman strives to be for her own good and for love of the nation, so as to attain peace and harmony in families and in the world. If every women are virtuous, this would be a world of peace and harmony. There would be healthier people and more smiling face. There would be more fulfilling family life and the parents of the virtuous women would feel bliss too.

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Vision

2007-07-23T22:25:00.000-07:00

But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love and live. Chained by their attitudes they are slave; they have forfeited their freedom. Only a person who risks is free.

Vision sees a path when there is none. For more than forty years, one woman believed that all of America would be better off if women could vote. Some laughed at her, others tried to ignore her, still others threw her in jail. But Susan B. Anthony had a dream. She could see a brighter world, and her words implanted a vision in other hearts. Fourteen years after her death, the Nineteenth Amendment was signed, and women gained the right to vote.

Vision is a single candle lit on a dark night. One spark ignites in another heart, then another, then another -- light added to light until dark is diminished. Vision is the ability to see with the heart what no one can see with the eye.

Vision plus hard work equals achievement. ~ Pam Farrel

Susan Brownell Anthony (15 February 1820 – 13 March 1906) Reformer, Woman-Suffrage Leader

Susan B. Anthony was a prominent, independent and well-educated American civil rights leader who was raised in New York as a Quaker. Early in her life she developed a sense of justice and moral zeal. She taught for a few years at a Quaker seminary and from there became a headmistress at a women's division of a school.

Susan B. Anthony played a pivotal role in the 19th century women's rights movement to secure women's suffrage in the United States. She traveled thousands of miles throughout the United States and Europe, and gave 75 to 100 speeches per year on women's rights for some 45 years. Through Anthony's determined work, many professional fields became open to women by the end of the nineteenth century. Susan B. Anthony died in Rochester, New York, in her house on Madison Street on March 13, 1906, and is buried at Mount Hope Cemetery.

Susan B. Anthony died on 13 March 1906 at the age of 86. Her conscious thoughts during her last and brief illness were not of religion. She pled with all to continue her work and right before death remarked, (holding up her hand and measuring a little space on one finger), "Just think of it, I have been striving for over sixty years for a little bit of justice no bigger than that, and yet I must die without obtaining it. Oh, it seems so cruel!"

Go For Excellence

2007-07-20T01:46:00.000-07:00

The secret of joy in work is contained in one word -- Excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it. ~ Pearl Buck

Excellence is the beaming smile of an Olympian standing on the winner's dais with a gold medal for a necklace. And the pursuit of real excellence can build a personal winner's circle. Excellence makes you feel like a winner, and it makes others see you as a winner. Excellence earns respect, admiration, and opportunity.

Excellence is not just an exterior standard but an interior motivation to do all things well. Excellence is the result of striving each day to do better than the last. Excellence reveals character. Character builds trust. Trust creates hope. Hope yields a future. Excellence matters.

Whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.... ~ The Book of Philippians

What Is Self-Esteem

2007-07-14T08:17:00.000-07:00

Self-esteem is the way you think and feel about yourself. If you want to feel fulfilled, or to be comfortable in the company of others, self-esteem is crucial.

When you have self-esteem, life is just a bowl of cherries. You believe you are an okay human being. You are comfortable with yourself. You feel attractive and vital. You have confidence, energy and optimism. You trust the world and the people around you. You generally have positive or realistic expectations. You take positive action to meet your needs and wants. You accept responsibility for your failures and your successes and are willing to take calculated risks. you feel equal to other people. You feel a sense of pride, satisfacton and happiness with your life. You see problems as challenges and opportunitites to learn and improve. When you wake up in the morning it's another day in paradise.

When self-esteem is low, life is doubt. You doubt yourself and those around you. You lack confidence. Instead of taking action, you worry. You are uncertain about what your needs and wants are. You see problems as obstacles. You blame yourself for your failures and don't take credit for your successes. You don't believe there is anything you can do to change. You rarely feel happy. When you wake up in the morning it's just another day you have to get through.

Among the two lists above, which person stands a greater chance of happiness in life? When self-esteem is low, your chances of happiness are low. If you have low self-esteem, you are not being yourself, because you fear what others might think. You rely on others for approval. You do not think you are worthwhile and you have little faith in your own abilities. If anything good happens to you it is just luck, while the success of others is due to ability. You may relate to others by being servile, submissive, passive or overbearing and a little needy. You feel guilty when you say no. You probably say, 'sorry', 'yes', 'of course' and 'it's only me' quite a lot.

Sometimes self-doubt manifests in other ways. You may rely excessively on certain things for a feeling of self-worth. For instance, whether or not you feel good depends on your weight, your job, your finances, your home, your friends, or whether or not the man or woman of your dreams calls.

Self-esteem may be high in one area of your life and low in others. You may feel confident at work and insecure in your relationships or vice versa. The trouble with this is that sooner or later lack of confidence in one area of your life is going to negatively affect other areas of your life. You need to feel relaxed and happy in all aspects of your life to function optimally.

Finally, your self-esteem could be good until something comes along, like losing a job or a relationship ending, to make you doubt yourself; or pressures mount up in your life, and all of a sudden you feel doubtful, confused and frightened. At times, even the most confident and happy people feels insecure!

Whatever the cause, when self-esteem is low, the world you live in is a frightening and unpredictable one because you are always dependent on the whims of others or the turn of events. If you can compare your life to a car, when self-esteem is low, you are not in the driving seat. Other people or events are steering the wheel, while you crouch in the back wondering where they will take you next. That's exactly what low self-esteem does to your life. You are alive but you are not really living.

How To Deal With Criticism

2007-07-07T10:46:00.000-07:00

We are what we think.
All that we are arises from our thoughts.
With our thoughts we make the world.

~ The dhammapada: The Sayings of the Buddha

If your self-esteem is low, you may be one of those people who can't say no. You are probably letting your kids or your partner or your friends get away with murder. You are probably embarrassed by praise or criticism and have trouble coping with people. It's likely that you have the best of intentions and are incredibly loving and giving, but the trouble is that everyone takes advantage of you and, unfortunately, at the end of the day no one respects you.

Criticism can come in many forms, but the basic intention behind them all is the same: to undermine you in some way. To deal with this you need to develop skills that help you stand your ground. One of these is not to take no for an answer. Repeat your message, however persistent or manipulative the other person gets, until that person has heard what you say and agreed to negotiate with you. Another way is to acknowledge that there may be an element of truth in the criticism, yet follow that up with an assertion of your viewpoint:"I understand what you are saying, but I still feel...." You may also decide to agree with the criticism, depending on the nature of it, or actively encourage it to find out whether your critic is being truthful or manipulative.

Criticism from others can destroy self-esteem. Criticism hurts. Much, of course, depends on the spirit in which the criticism was given. If it was intended to help you correct and improve, then see criticism as an opportunity to learn and grow, but if the criticism was unjust, how do you cope with that?

You may want to bear in mind that unjust or unfair criticism is usually given to make the critic feel important. It often means that you are worthy of attention and the critic feels jealous or threatened. So the next time you receive unjust criticism, try taking it as a compliment.

Gender-related Criticism
Expectation placed on you because of your gender, or judgments made about you, can destroy confidence. Your gender may force you to confront roles you are not content with, or make you feel anxious about issues that concern the other sex less.

This is a generalisation, and there are many exceptions, but women often feel trapped in the role of caretaker. Low self-esteem is linked to issues surrounding sexual harassment, lower-paying jobs, limited career opportunities, unequal treatment, and social expectations of how to look and behave. For men, it is often linked to lack of intimacy, emotional repression, social expectation and the obligation to provide financial support.

Creative solutions can be found for gender-related issues. Most of them involve confronting and letting go of sterotypes you or others may have, being clear about who you are and what you want and setting reasonable goals for yourself. The same applies to anxiety about sex or sexual orientation, worries related to religious, cultural and ethnic background and worries related to physical appearance.

If any of the personal issues above make you feel uncomfortable about yourself, working on self-acceptance is your first step. Put simply, that means liking yourself and having confidence in yourself no matter who you are, what you look like, where you come from, where you are going and what others say about you.

If you don't think you are good enough, attractive enough, popular enough or talented enough, ask yourself: Am I being realistic? No one is completely good or wholly bad. Stop focusing entirely on the negative and allow the positive into the picture.

If other people are walking all over you, it is time to start practising assertiveness skills. The only person who has the right to judge your behaviour, thoughts and emotions is you. You have the right to change your mind, say no or "I don't understand" or "I don't know" or even "I don't care".

If you are helping others because you really want to, that's fine. But if you are frightened of becoming unpopular or lonely if you stop being everything to everybody, remind yourself that those who really care about you won't put unwelcome demands on you. If you start feeling obligated or guilty in your relationships, then it is time to change the dynamic of those relationships and, if need be, move away from them.

Adapted from Theresa Francis-Cheung, a health consultant and psychologist.

Good Decision

2007-05-25T02:18:00.000-07:00

Making a good decision involves taking risks. You can never be sure of the outcome, but you can make the best decision possible at the present time. There are nine steps to making a good decision:

1. Pinpoint the decision that needs to be made.
Make sure you define the problem so that it can be broken down into specific issues that determine the final decision.

2. Try to get as much information as possible.
Realise, however, that you can't get all the information there is; at some point you will just have to make do with what you have.

3. Make sure your information is reliable. Check facts and figures yourself whenever possible.

4. Ask for suggestions and advice. You don't have to follow it, but you may find out some things you didn't know before.

5. Make plus and minus columns (or pros and cons), and see which side tips the scale.

6. Ask yourself what would be the best possible outcome of this decision. And what would be the worst? What is most likely to happen. What will happen if you don't do it?

7. List all possible solutions to your problem and their likely consequences. Then determine the value of each solution and its consequences. List the good and bad points of each one; then compare them all to find the best solution in its proper perspective. Ask yourself "If I make this decision, where will I be in six months from now? In a year? In five years?"

8. Trust your intuition
Ask yourself why this feels right or feels wrong. Learn to trust your deeper instincts instead of following your immediate impulse.

9. Recognise errors and use them to improve your decision-making skills for the next time.

Stages of Development

1. Not knowing.
2. Knowing, not doing.
3. Doing, not knowing you're doing.
4. Doing, but without results.
5. Doing, getting results and amazed by it.
6. Doing, getting results and bored by it.
7. Extrapolation (applying old knowledge to new areas).
8. Impasse.
9. Revert to stage 1.

Inner Strength

2007-05-02T02:15:00.000-07:00

Inner strength is the strength that give me the power to fight back with life or to stand up when I fall down or encounter difficulties in life.

The more 'work' you do, the more problems you have in life. A person who has no problems in life is a person who has no dreams and no 'work' at all.

This is an article that I had just written at Helium.

Developing Inner Strength

Everybody has different views of what their strengths and weaknesses are. However, I feel that generally inner strengths are an invisible force within everyone that helps to propel you further in life, to support you and to allow you to carry on with life. Everyone of us, all human being and I believe animals have too, an inner strength that really enable them to carry on their life every day and for the better, especially when encounter with obstacles in life.

Life is not a bed of roses and nothing is ever perfect. In life, we face obstacles, trials and many other difficulties that slow down our pace, to achieve our goals and dreams. We encountered many unexpected circumstances, and many times life is not the way we want it to be. Inner strength is a strength in every living organisms ( I believe all living things, animals, plants, all have the power of inner strength in them), that keep urging them 'not to give up', it is a natural instinct, something that just come naturally when we encounter obstacles and difficulties, to empower ourselves stronger.

In my view, inner strength is an invisible force within an individual that motivates and encourages a person in life when facing daily life's obstacles and failures. It is a motivational force within all of us that has a silent 'message' that says 'don't give up, you got to be....' or 'don't give up, you have to...', it is your natural silent motivational force within you.

How to develop this invisible motivational force of inner strength? It is all through cultivation, determination and knowing yourself better. Just like running or jogging, a person who just started running may find that he gets tired easily and he cannot run for long distances the first time. The next time, he trains himself to run longer and better each time. His stamina for running slowly increased. Soon he should be able to realize that he can run a longer distance and do not feel the strain as when he just started running. Similarly for swimming! Swimmers can increase their stamina through practice. All these people are able to do so because they have determination. They are clear of what they want and what they must do in order to have what they want. No pain, no gain. You sweat, you gain -- you gain more stamina, you gain more strength -- physical strength and inner strength, your endurance and persistence to complete your goal!

Only when you are faced with life's problems, do you learn to appreciate things around you and to learn to cope with life's difficulties. Being a spectator watching the runners running in the stadium, you would not know how it feels to be running and competing in the field. Seeing is easy. Only when you do it, you understand and you know. Similarly, it is only when one is face with difficulties, will one know how to challenge a situation, to counter attack life's obstacles and to counterstrike every possibilities in order to 'win' or excel. It is during these encounter of failures and obstacles in life that every individual can be trained to develop their inner strength. Every failure and mistakes in life have its own lessons to be learned. It is through constant practice, discipline and determination that helps a runner develop an overwhelming stamina to complete a race within a short time. Similarly, our inner strength, can be developed as we try to gain more wisdom from our daily life's problems. The runners' obstacles are force of gravity and resistance. Our obstacles are all our life's problems that we counter. And everyday, we are 'racing' against time, 'running' in our life daily. How much is your inner strength? Everybody should have inner strength, but it is a matter of how much (just like everybody has a capability to run, not mentioning a handicap person.)

However, the act of practicing and doing things blindly without knowing the knowledge of it, makes a person's work harder. Just like running, if a person read up a book on how to run faster, then he would be able to understand how the body works, how he can reduce resistance etc to run faster. Thus for us, we need to read many books. Reading books, increase our wisdom and knowledge. Why people around us are like that? How to improve our life? There are just so many types of books you can read. Books help to broaden our thinking and by looking at things at a different angles, we gain strengths just like that -- knowing more make you more confidence and this naturally increases your inner strength!

To sum up, inner strength is a silent and invisible motivational force in every individual that help a person to react and combat everyday's life, especially in time of crisis to be able to handle it and to be able to adapt to life, to carry on with their life. To develop inner strength, it is like swimming. A swimmer with more practice will gain more stamina and be able to swim better than a beginner. Similarly a person with more exposure to life difficulties, will be 'trained' to gain more inner strength through their life's experiences. And don't forget to read widely, or learn from people!

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Drive

Some folks are driven to excel, while others can't seem to get out of 'park'. Mediocrity is a dangerous malady that causes people to always settle for second best. For the most part, it is a personal choice. Mediocrity begins in the mind. It's like a weed that winds itself around personal ambition and chokes it. If left to grow, it will prevent any personal growth. It even has its own language:"I can't." "I was never able to." "I just don't have what it takes."

Mediocrity must be challenged like an aggressive enemy. Challenge it with education. Books, tapes, internet sites, and seminars are like swords that can be wielded against the crippling effects of mediocrity.

Challenge it with adventure. Try a new hobby. Plan a trip. Join an interest group. Step out of box into a brave new world. You'll not only discover new interests and make a new friends; you'll fight the enemy of apathy at the same time.

Put your life in "drive", and you'll get a lot farther down the road.

Challenge mediocrity.

"Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body." ~ Joseph Addison

Motivational Criticism

2007-04-23T23:21:00.000-07:00

The purpose of criticism is not to destroy the confidence, self-image and self-belief of the other person. It is to build on in the future.

People who have a responsibility to supervise have a great number of things they have to control. Not the least of these is their own personal feelings towards their subordinates. Managers and supervisors are, of course, human, and they do have their own likes and dislikes just like everyone else.

An effective and motivated manager, will however, make sure that their feelings about their subordinates do not show. It is quite obvious that performance will suffer if an employee should feel that their immediate boss doesn't like them, treat them unjustly or favours somebody else.

From time to time it is necessary to get a person back on the rails or criticize them in order to get the performance and the results that you deserve. Perhaps the most unpleasant of all the jobs that a manager ever has to do is to fire a person. But in order to develop people, it is occasionally necessary for a manager to criticize an employee.

Why Criticize? Why a manager should criticize an employee? It should not be related to a personal like or dislike. It should primarily be because of a feeling of concern. In addition, it is a manger's duty to guide his employees not only towards performance that keeps them in their job, but performance that helps them to achieve their goals, and of course, maintains the team spirit.

The purpose of the criticism is not and should never be to destroy, but to build. In order to achieve this, ask yourself these questions: 'What exactly do I want to put right?' and 'What exactly is the desired reaction at the end of the meeting or interview?' In other words, 'What is my goal, my purpose or end result?'

The points that the manager should discuss must be constructive and not destructive. It takes very little brains to find fault. It takes a lot more brains to find a better way of doing something. Not it's all very well if the manager knows what he wants to communicate, but he is communicating with another person, and that person also has the wonderful asset of the human brain. Therefore, in order to get the message across, you have to make sure that you haven't got a closed mind when communicating.

At the commencement of the meeting, you must open up the other person's mind so that it becomes receptive to you. The person must be able to listen, take in, discuss and then react to the message that you are giving. In many cases, a manager is forced into criticizing an employee because of actions that have been immensely irritating. Sometimes an employee acts irresponsibly and, even worse, with the intention of breaking some rule or acceptance work practice.

Some managers lose their temper and react immediately. In a state of fury, they criticize the subordinate. Don't do it -- it does occasionally work, but it invariably destroys relationships, and eill cause a dramatic loss of respect. Other managers, perhaps out of frustration or lack of guts, have great difficulty in talking to the individual who is causing the problems, so they end up instead telling almost everybody else. This, of course, is an unfair management style.

To criticise without demotivating, you must:

Pick your time carefully
Discuss the matter in private
Let the person know you value them
Look them in the eyes
Be strictly truthful
Criticize behaviour, not the person
Reaffirm the person's good points
Set a review date

Remember to praise improvement!

Insincere praise is worse than no praise at all.

The Problems of Dismissal
The motivated manager will unfortunately, from time to time, have to dismiss an employee. Once that decision has been taken, it should not be delayed. In most cases, to preserve the team the departure should happen as speedily as possible. There are, of course, exceptions to this rule in which people can work out a period of notice. In most cases, this is extremely dangerous and will be demotivational to the remainder of the team. It is therefore better for everybody concerned that, when that decision has been taken, the person concerned leaves the company immediately.

Any manager obviously hates having to tell an employee that their services are no longer required. Nevertheless, it is one of the burdens and responsibilities for which managers are duly rewarded.

When firing another individual, the manager should never destroy them. A manager should never set out to break down their self-image, confidence or self-belief. If the decision to dismiss has been taken, it is right to give justifiable, fair and logical reasons, so you have to communicate the truth. In some cases, however, you do not have to tell the whole truth.

If the individual does get angry or uptight, it really doesn't matter to the manager. Far better that that person goes out feeling angry, but with their attitude, beliefs and confidence intact so that they can go on to get another job, than be too demotivated even to go after one.

Sir John Harvey Jones, widely acclaimed as one of the great management gurus in the UK, states: You sometimes have to fire people. The most important thing is that you are not entitled to damage their self-esteem. It is quite difficult to avoid doing that but you have to bear in mind you are not entitled to wreck a man's life for your business purpose.

The Motivated Person

2007-04-22T22:36:00.000-07:00

A price has to be paid for success. Almost invariably those who have reached the summits worked harder and longer, studied and planned more assiduously, practiced more self-denial, overcame more difficulties than those of us who have not risen so far. ~ B. C. Forbes

We all form opinions based on a person's appearance. A motivated person will surely have a smart outward appearance; their hair will look as though it has been taken care of, clothes will be pressed and freshly laundered, shoes clean. The outward appearance is therefore of somebody who cares about themselves.

One should also notice the way people walk. A person who walks with a purpose and with speed makes a better employee than a person who slouches and has a lazy walk. Do they amble along with their hands in their pockets or is there a spring in the step and arms swinging for propulsion? Body language will convey a person's enthusiasm. A smiling face, sparkling eyes and a positive facial expression can certainly covey an individual's motivation.

Students of body language claim that in Europe, they are able to communicate with approximately 40000 words and sounds, though on a day-to-day basis we habitually use just 4000. On the other hand, body language signals conveyed from the face alone can number 15000.

The majority of people can control what they say. So whenever body language is in conflict with the spoken word due to the sheer number of body language signals, the body language will almost certainly be conveying the correct information. So somebody saying that they actually feel fine, but with a pained facial expression or stooped shoulders that clearly shows the opposite, can be studied, and their true feelings can be deduced.

Finally, how does a motivated person communicate? With enthusiasm. A motivated person talks about the future, what they are doing or planning to do. The past is used as experience to recognize and turn opportunities into success. The motivated person, therefore has a zest of life and is a pleasure to be with.

And above everything else, a motivated person is what one could easily describe as a positive person. That is, showing the characteristics of an attitude that is:

positive
motivated by a purpose
expecting to succeed

This in turn generates energy. Motivated people seem to have an abundance of this. You have heard the expression: If you want something done, ask a busy person.

Rewards = Results. You get more of the behaviour you reward. You don't get what you hope for, ask for, wish for or beg for. You get what you reward. The greatest management principle suggests that the things that get rewarded get done. So, as a manager or leader of others, you must check and ask yourself: What do you recognise and reward? Fail to reward the right behaviour and you will most likely get the wrong results.

Motivators For Teachers

Responsiblity
It's a fact of life: For every action there is a reaction. Our words and deeds have a lasting influence, like ripples on the pond when a pebble is tossed in. And taking responsibility for those ripples is part of the maturing process.

Teaching young people to be responsible for their behaviour is as vital as teaching them geometry. In fact, it will probably be of greater significance. In their higher education, careers, relationships, and homes, understanding the connection between actions and consequences is absolutely necessary to making good adjustments.

Responsibility is learned early in the classroom experience. Failure to study for the test, a missed assignment deadline, tardiness -- these are life lessons for the student. And students must know that a consequence follows their action (or inaction).

Make allowance for poor performance, and you have done a great disservice to your students. Allow them to give an account for their actions, and you have given them a helpful nudge out of the nest into the real world.

Connect actions with consequences.

After the fire, ashes; after the rain, roses. ~ Moroccan Proverb

Essence of Motivation

2007-04-21T21:42:00.000-07:00

Motivation is everything. You can do the work of two people, but you can't be two people. Instead, you have to inspire the next guy down the line and get him to inspire his people. ~ Lee Iacocca

Motivation is essential for success at work as well as for a rewarding personal life, so learning the skills and techniques to improve your motivation is never time wasted. Richard Denny 'Motivate To Win' shows how anyone can transform a dream of success into reality by becoming more motivated. Richard Denny is the most inspirational business speaker in the UK. He is probably unique in that his presentations not only motivate, inspire and educate his audiences, but they take away and are able to use highly practical ideas that achieve enhanced performance.

Motivation and Manipulation
According to Richard Denny, he viewed Manipulation as seems to be getting somebody to do something because you want them to do it; whereas motivation is getting somebody to do something because they want to do it. In his opinion, manipulation does work. But it doesn't last and creates mistrust, leading to a 'them and us' situation.

A manipulative style of people management does not create the ideal where managers and their staff all pull together in the same direction to achieve their shared goals.

It is rather naive to encourage self-motivated people to attend an interview but expect the successful candidate to react kindly to manipulation when employed.

Motivation, on the other hand, is getting somebody to do something because they want to do it. If we really want to do something, we will be more motivated; and if we really don't want to do something, we will lack self-motivation.

Attitude Motivation And Incentive Motivation
Attitude motivation is how people think and feel. It is their self-confidence, their belief in themselves, their attitude to life -- be it positive or negative. It is how they feel about the future and how they react to the past. All of us from time to time have to make sure that we have the right attitude.

Incentive Motivation is where a person or a team reaps a reward from an activity. We can sum this up as: You do this and you get that. In his book Motivate To Win, Richard Denny mentioned that it is extremely important to understand the difference between the two kinds of motivation and to accept that both types are at their most effective when both are at work.

For an individual, a team or group of people, motivation can only be effective in the right environment. For example, a manager may attempt to motivate a team of people by introducing a competition or incentive programmes, which may well have been properly constructed, but if the environment in which that team is operating is not conducive to a harmonious relationship, there is backbiting, mistrust or an unhappy atmosphere, any incentive or attempted motivational approach will be ineffective. So you must look at your environment -- is it one in which you can be motivated? If you are a leader, is the environment right for your people to be motivated?

When the leaders are leading, the followers will follow. To be an effective manager and motivator of others, one must have or develop leadership skills.

Did is a word of achievement,
Won't is a word of retreat,
Might is a word of bereavement,
Can't is a word of defeat,
Ought is a word of duty,
Try is a word each hour,
Will is a word of beauty,
Can is a word of power.

Power Of Motivation

2007-04-20T20:54:00.000-07:00

To motivate others is the most important of management tasks. It comprises the abilities to communicate, to set an example, to challenge, to encourage, to obtain feedback, to involve, to delegate, to develop and train, to inform, to brief and to provide a just reward.

The word motivation seems to cause extraordinary emotional reactions amongst many people. Motivation appears to be a general requirement. Everybody wants more motivation, but they're not quite sure what it is. The individual would say they would like to be more motivated. The manager or the leader would like to have a more motivated team or group, and the employer wishes to employ a motivated person. In fact, the employer's demands are even greater in that the person they need should be self-motivated. If you understand what motivates people, you have at your command the most powerful tool for dealing with them.

Human beings are natural goal seekers and it seems that all the amazing achievements in the world come from highly motivated individuals. We all live in a world of increasing complexity with incredible technology at our command. The developments of computer technology, microchips, the internet and the progress in electronic data processing and creativity fields are mind blowing.

Yet the real world in which we all work is a people's world. Parents produce children, those children go through their educational years and then move on to develop their own career. They in turn build relationships, get married and again children are produced. And so the cycle perpetuates itself.

Motivation and power are so closely linked that one can say there is power in a motivated person. There was an extraordinary story of a mother who had a terrible car accident with her baby son on board. The car ended up on its side with the child trapped underneath. The mother was fortunately thrown clear and unhurt. When the rescue services arrived, they found the mother cradling her child in her arms, also unhurt. They were taken to hospital for a complete check-up, where it was discovered that the vertebrae in the mother's back had been crushed. Apparently, what had happened was that she had lifted the car, removed the child with her feet and, in the process, damaged her back. There was no known way under normal circumstances that the mother could have lifted the vehicle. She did not have the physique, the strength or the muscle power. But she have the power of motivation.

Inner motivation is and always has been the power behind mankind's success and achievements. In building or maintaining your own motivation, search for stories of success. Success depends very little on your age, colour, creed or circumstances. The foundation of all motivation is Hope. Hope is therefore a criterion for people to be motivated. It is the cause for the effect -- the fuel that drives the engine. Without hope, no person could ever be motivated. If you think you can, You can.

Motivation For Teachers

Authenticity
A good teacher communicates content. A great teacher communicates character. Your students will learn as much about you as they learn from you -- maybe more! How do you rise to that challenge? Be yourself. If you are honest, they'll learn honesty. If you are humble, they'll learn humility. If you are courageous, they'll learn courage. If you're kind, they'' learn kindness.

Even before you say,"Good morning," you will be teaching. Your lessons won't just be displayed on an erasable board, an overhead, or a video; they'll be displayed in your life as well. Some of the most important lessons you will ever teach will be taught by your own classroom behaviour.

Be yourself, and the lesson will be a good one. If you try to be something -- or someone -- you're not, the lesson will have a negative effect. Your students may not know how much about history, geography, or social studies as yet, but they already know human behaviour.

So drop the mask and smile your way into someone's heart. Your students will give you an "A" for authentic.

Be Yourself.

"What the teacher is, is more important that what one teaches." ~ Karl Menninger

Drugs

2007-04-11T01:44:00.000-07:00

Drugs have been recruited to achieve altered states of consciousness since the beginnings of recorded history. Drugs are chemicals that affect the body in deliberate ways. Psychoactive drugs in particular affect the nervous system, producing psychological changes in the persons who take them.

At the end of the 17th century, the famous English physician Thomas Sydenham wrote,"I cannot forbear mentioning with gratitude the goodness of the Supreme Being who has supplied afflicted mankind with opiates for their relief." Many powerful hallucinogens are of natural origin: bufotenine is present in the flu agaric toadstool(Amanita muscaria); LSD was originally derived from ergot, a fungus that infects wheat and rye; and mescalin is present in the peyote cactus (Lophophora williamsii).

A modern Shydenham who praised opium might lose his licence to practice medicine, and recent studies have revealed cases in which dying patients were denied doses of morphine for fear of turning them into addicts. This comparison is instructive because it demonstrates our love-hate relationship with mind-altering drugs: on the one hand, they can relieve pain or transport us to new levels of awareness; and on the other, they are feared and demonized as causes of mental and physical degradation.

Drugs that affect consciousness can be classified into four main groups -- opiates, depressants, stimulants and hallucinogens -- which act on the brain in different ways and have different psychological impacts.

1. Opiates are drugs derived from the dried resin of the opium poppy, or synthetic versions of these chemicals, such as heroin, codeine and morphine. All have been used medicinally at some time for their pain-killing properties, and codeine and morphine are still prescribed today. They are used illegally for similar reasons: heroin gives the user a 'high', reducing anxiety and producing a sense of temporary well-being.

Opiates mimic the brain's natural painkillers, endorphins. Endorphins are neurotransmitters, molecules that pass from one neuron to another. Endorphins molecules are the correct size and shape to bind to opioid receptors, and when they do so, the net effect is to block pain and produce sensations of pleasure. Opiate drugs also bind to the opioid receptors of the neurons and thus increase the user's sense of well-being. Repeated use of opiates, however, produces a cascade of painful and psychologically disturbing effects: the brain becomes accustomed to receiving an external supply of painkillers and so progressively cuts down on its own production of endorphins. The user compensates by taking larger and larger doses, risking a lethal overdose. When the effects of the opiate wears off, the brain finds itself short of painkillers, natural and artificial. The result is that the user suffers painful withdrawal symptoms, including stomach cramps, vomiting and intense headaches, which can be most easily alleviated by another chemical "fix". The initial 'high' of the drug is soon replaced by the self-sustaining cycle of opiate addiction.

2. Depressants include prescription tranquillizers, such as Valium, and barbiturates, such as Seconal, which are used to reduce anxiety and treat insomnia. But by far the most widely used depressant is alcohol. Because it is consumed, tolerated and even actively marketed in many countries, it is easy to forget that alcohol is also addictive and a drug, and for various reasons, we often choose to ignore the enormous range of physical and social problems that it directly causes. The psychological effects of alcohol on the brain are fairly complex: moderate drinking seems to reduce our tensions and inhibitions, making us feel "up", but heavier consumption often produces irritability and mood swings and makes us feel "down".

3. Stimulants are drugs such as amphetamines, cocaine, nicotine and caffeine. To greater or lesser degrees, these substances produce euphoria, increase alertness and stamina, and enhance the user's self-confidence. There is even some tenuous evidence that they might improve our performance in cognitive(thinking) tasks. Stimulants work either by promoting the release(or prolonging the activity) of neurotransmitters such as noradrenaline(norephinephrine), dopamine and serotonin in the brain or by interfering with the brain's natural depressants(caffeine, for example, suppresses the activity of adenosine, one of the brain's natural "downers").

4. Hallucinogenic drugs profoundly change the ways in which the user sees his or her inner and outer worlds. Sounds and colours may altered or intensified and perception of time may be seriously affected, with hours condensed into minutes. Uses of hallucinogens, such as LSD (lysergic acid diethylamide) or Ecstasy (MDMA), often report feeling a diminished sense of self, almost as if they were merging with their surroundings, or claim to have profound, meaningful insights into self and spirit.

This is what you shall do: Love the earth and sun and animals, despise riches, alms to everyone that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labour to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its worlds but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body... ~ Walt Whitman

Vision And Trance

2007-04-10T17:48:00.000-07:00

Trance has been shown to be very psychologically beneficial, by helping to relieve built up stress, allowing one to reflect on life issues without censorship or guilt, and generally giving the psyche a break from consistently operating at alpha or delta states. Generally, one is only in a theta state for a period of minutes, right before going to sleep, and when waking up. Being in a theta state for 15 minutes is considered to be an 'extended period'. With the use of auditory driving, or other meditative techniques, this time can be extended significantly.

Throughout human history, people have sincerely reported seeing visions, and even some fairly sceptical psychologists have accepted their claims as genuine. The 19th century psychologist William James was fascinated by visions, and in his book 'The Varieties of Religious Experience (1902)' he recorded a number of them. It is virtually impossible to carry out research into visions in the laboratory, because they do not happen on demand; as a result, the only evidence that visions do exist is the accounts of those people who have experienced them.

Often visions may occur in response to stress. People stranded in the desert often "see" the oasis for which they have been searching, and victims of shipwrecks believe that they have spotted the spotted the rescue boat. Similarly, widows and widowers often report that they either see or sense the presence of their spouses shortly after their death; but this occurs less frequently as the pain of the bereavement and the need for comfort subside.

Visions are often central to religious experience. Many conversion experiences have involved visions or other sorts of divine revelations. Some religious practices foster atmospheres conducive to this: periods of meditation, for example, seem to predispose some people to visions, although the mechanism for this is unknown. Other religious practices use different sorts of mind-altering substances, ranging from wine and incense to hallucinogenic drugs, to inspire mystical visions.

In some cultures, shamans are priests who, while in a trance state, allegedly receive visions from other levels of the cosmos. In many traditions, the shaman's soul is said to leave his or her body to travel to the spirit world. This trance state is different from that achieved through meditation: whereas people who are meditating are focusing their minds on one image to achieve a great calmness, shamans remain intensely concentrated but at the same time extremely active as they travel between worlds and meet with spirits. Some psychologists have seen similarites in state of mind between shamans and schizophrenics. However, while a schizophrenic's mind is typically disordered, a shaman's is coherent; and the shaman's integral role in his or her community contrasts with the isolation of schizophrenia.

Out-of-body experiences are not restricted to religious practices: they seem to occur in response to some kind of emergency situation. This is the case with near-death experiences. There have been thousands of reports of near-death experiences, many noting the same types of sensations. Subjects feel as though they have left their bodies, and many look on as doctors operate or family and friends mourn -- but despite this, they feel only inner peace and happiness.

Some people report travelling down a tunnel toward a bright light, where benevolent presences wait; some make contact with long-dead friends or family members, or with a stranger who urges them to return to their bodies. Many also report that their out-of-body experiences reinforced the value of their own lives and the lives of others.

Although reports of out-of-body experiences are not uncommon, scientists have been unable to explain them conclusively. They may be triggered by a physical cause: some physiologists have suggested that hypoxia, or low oxygen levels in the brain, might cause a consistent pattern of hallucination in all sufferers. Other experts believe that out-of-body experiences are purely psychological, a way of denying death. Still others see them as an alternative state of consciousness, a bridge between life and death.

Serve intentionally, deliberately, generously.

Consciously or unconsciously, everyone of us does render some service or other. If we cultivate the habit of doing this service deliberately, our desire for service will steadily grow stronger and we will make not only our own happiness, but that of the world.

Meditation

2007-04-09T04:53:00.000-07:00

One function of consciousness is to knit together our sense of self-identity. But many religious traditions believe that enlightenment can be achieved only by breaking the shackles of self and attaining "purer" states of consciousness through meditation.

Meditation is best defined as a self-induced process of relaxation providing heightened awareness and opportunities for internal reflection. Since its wide-scale introduction in teh West during the 1960s, meditation has been the source of considerable research and controversy among psychologists, who have been interested in it primarily as a method of relaxation and stress management. Research suggests that, while useful in these ways, meditation is perhaps no better than other methods. The latter include techniques such as progressive relaxation, exercise, and biofeedback, in which patients learn to monitor their own physical processes (such as heart rate or muscle tension) and to control them.

Although meditative techniques are most often associated with Eastern systems of belief, they are also a feature of the Christian faith and are increasingly used in a secular context. For example, transcendental meditation, which gained popularity in the West in 1960s, is largely free of religious connotations. Many top athletes also use techniques akin to meditation to fine-tune their performances; and practising psychologists report that meditation allows people, whether religious or not, to improve their self-esteem and come to terms with previously suppressed feelings.

Forms of Meditation
Meditation has been practiced in a variety of forms in many cultures, both in the East and the West, for thousands of years. Its traditional contexts have been religious or spiritual, or having to do with personal growth.

There are many forms of meditation; some are active, such as dancing, but most are passive. The latter seem to fall into two general categories -- concentrative and opening-up meditation. Concentrative meditation, in which a single object or thought provides a focus that helps the meditator to remove all else from consciousness, has been formalized in numerous meditative traditions. Concentrative meditation includes forms of meditation that develop a concentrated attention focused, for example, on one's own breathing, as in Zen meditation, or on a mantra(a word or phrase selected for this purpose), as is common in Indian practices. Christian meditators, such as the 15th century scholar Thomas Kempis, would focus on the image of Christ crucified, while practitioners of yoga use a mantra or set of words, as the focus of concentration. In the Tantric traditions, body posture acts as the focus.

The psychologist's interpretation is that a person's body image is intimately linked with his or her sense of self. Body image -- the visceral sense of being -- is shaped by the constant barrage of sensory information reaching the body. Maintaining the same posture for long periods of time sends a uniform, continuous input to the brain's perceptual and sensory systems, and the resulting habituation reduces awareness of body image, and so is said to loosen the shackles of self.

Another form of passive meditation, termed opening-up meditation, develops an unencumbered, objective observation of oneself. The latter is common in many Buddhist traditions. Opening-up meditation uses the techniques of concentrative meditation, but moves beyond them. The meditator is told to become aware of what is happening without actively focusing, to become open to all the perceptions that constitute the buzzing confusion normally filtered out by the brain. This should result in an expanded awareness and greater mental clarity.

Benefits of Meditation
As well as its psychological benefits, the meditative state has marked physiological benefits -- these phenomena are measurable and reliably repeatable, and thus are a suitable object of a scientific study. Such studies have revealed some remarkable effects: meditation can lower a subject's metabolic rate, decreasing blood pressure, pulse rate and muscle tension. Studies of one Indian guru, published in the highly reputable science journal Nature, showed that the subject could reduce his oxygen intake to one-third of the normal resting state. Other studies suggest that meditation can help to alleviate bronchial asthma, hypertension and insomnia, and reduce stress.

Aside from controversial issues about the usefulness of meditation as a relaxation technique, research suggests the possibility that meditation, when practiced correctly and for a substantial periods of time, may lead to increased creativity and interpersonal sensitivity.

Who Counts

It is not the critic who counts, nor the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat; who strives valiantly; who errs and may fail again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who does know the great enthusiasm, the great devotion; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. ~ Theodore Roosevelt

Explaining Hypnosis

2007-04-08T18:01:00.000-07:00

Hypnosis has had a checkered history. Ever since the Austrian physician Franz Anton Mesmer took Paris by storm with his demonstrations of "magnetic influence" in the 1780s, its reputation has suffered at the hands of entertainers and fraudsters. Yet the evidence strongly suggests that hypnosis is a genuinely altered state of consciousness, with real clinical applications.

Hypnosis is not well understood, though it has been known in one form or another for almost two hundred years. It appears to be a state of deep relaxation in which the subject is highly susceptible to suggestions made by the hypnotist.

The word "hypnosis" was coined in the early 19th century by the British surgeon James Braid, who was the first to subject the phenomenon to serious examination. Some researchers view hypnosis as a trance state while others have analyzed it in terms of classical or instrumental conditioning. Social psychologists have discussed it in terms of modeling or role playing, suggesting that "hypnotized" individuals are simply acting out the behaviours expected of them. As evidence for this, they point out that most of if not all of the feats performed under hypnosis can be performed just as well when the subject is not hypnotized. Some subjects may be simply pretending.

Braid originally proposed that hypnosis was a form of "nervous sleep", similar to natural sleep, caused by brain fatigue resulting from sustained concentration on the voice or actions of a hypnotist. But in his later studies, Braid noticed that subjects would continue to hold on to objects after hypnosis: their muscles did not relax as in normal sleep. In the light of such evidence, he played down the importance of physiology, and suggested that hypnotism was essentially psychological. Modern studies show that the brain waves of hypnotized subjects are much like those of the waking state.

When subjects are hypnotized, they can speak, walk and carry out instructions. Yet there are some noticeable changes from from normal consciousness: attention becomes very selective, with the subject ignoring everything but the hypnotist's voice; the subject rarely initiates thought or activity, but waits for suggestions from the hypnotist; and fantastic ideas or situations are more readily accepted as reality. So what then is the curious state of hypnosis? American psychologist Arnold Waxman defines it as "an altered state of consciousness effected by total concentration on the voice of the therapist": it is almost as if th ewilling, relaxed subject relinquishes control over part of his or her consciousness to the hypnotist. Others argue that hypnosis is no more than a form of role playing, the result of social pressure to cooperate with the hypnotist. However, they struggle somewhat to explain either post-hypnotic suggestibility or the way in which hypnosis can evoke valid memories, two phenomena that suggest that the hypnotic trance is an altered state of consciousness.

The "classic" method of hypnotism is to put a subject into a relaxed frame of mind and ask him or her to concentrate on an object, such as a swinging pocket watch. But even this is not necessary. One of the early researchers into hypnosis, George Estabrooks, made a recording of the verbal instructions usually given to hypnotize subjects, intending to play them to a group of volunteers. Unfortunately, Estabrooks played the wrong record, exposing the group to Swiss yodelling. He found to his amazement that one of the subjects feel into a deep hypnotic trance. This story reveals that some people are far more easily hypnotized than others. There are no measurable differences between teh susceptibility of men and women, or between people of different ages(except children aged between 8 and 12, who are particularly easy to hypnotize). But there is some evidence to suggest that individuals who readily accept fantasy, and are able, for example, to empathize with characters in books or films, are more likely to be susceptible.

There are three phenomena associated with the hypnotic state that are especially intriguing. Two - the use of hypnotism to control pain, and post-hypnotic suggestion -- have been proved in hundreds of experiments. The mechanism by which hypnotism brings about pain relief is a mystery. Unlike other psychological methods of pain control, such as visualization, hypnotism does not cause the body to produce endorphins, the neurotransmitters that block pain receptors. Pain relief and other messages have been shown to persist after the hypnotic session has ended.

Post-hypnotic suggestion is another startling phenomenon. They hypnotist can make two types of lasting suggestions to a subject during the trance: negative suggestions, such as not to feel pain or not to remember what transpired during the session; and positive ones, improving the subject's overall mental state.

The third phenomenon, the use of hypnosis to recover memories -- remains more controversial. Although some subjects have been seen to relive childhood experiences and to recall details of events witnessed fleetingly, some experts say that this results from eagerness to please the hypnotist.

Applications of Hypnosis
Whatever its origins, hypnosis has long been effectively used for pains control in surgery and dental procedures, and it is found by many psychologists to be a useful adjunct to psychotherapy.

Neodissociation Theory
Ernest Hilgard, a leading researcher of hypnosis, suggests in his Neodissociation theory that consciousness itself is capable of division into distinct streams. The hypnotized individual experiences a passive state of deep relaxation, while a deeper or separate aspect of consciousness, called the hidden observer, witnesses all that transpires with the first part but is usually not accessible unless "called out" under hypnosis.

See a problem? Be part of the solution.

Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings. ~ John F. Kennedy

Fantasy And Sex

2007-04-07T17:28:00.000-07:00

A sexual fantasy is a fantasy of a sexual nature. A person may or may not wish to enact their sexual fantasies in real life; some may find their fantasies completely unacceptable — or even physically impossible — were they to be transposed into real life.

Our ability to use our imaginations erotically is extraordinary, and over the course of the 20th century there has been more and more freedom to explore fetishes and sexual fantasies both in private and in public. Cultural attitudes to sexual fantasy have changed enormously. In the 19th century, sexual subjects were unacceptable (some commentors believe that is the reason that pornography flourished).

In place of the puritanism of Freud, who believed that fantasies were a sign of immaturity, many therapists now consider that it is perfectly normal to have sexual fantasies, and some even believe that they can be used to achieve a more fulfilling sex life.

Alfred Kinsey, in his pioneering surveys of sexual behaviour begun in 1938, found that most of his subjects had sexual fantasies, beginning just before the onset of puberty, and that these fantasies continued throughout adulthood, even among people who had fulfilling sexual relationships. In fact, he found that people spend a surprising amount of time thinking about sex, and this has been confirmed by other studies: a survey in Chicago in the 1970s suggested that people had sexual fantasies about eight times a day.

There are vast cultural differences in what different societies consider acceptable material for sexual fantasy and fetishes. Many fetish objects have lost much of their mystique because we are so widely exposed to them. Some once-forbidden thrills, such as rubber suits and body piercing, are today marketed not only as fetish objects, but also, with a dash of irony, as high fashion. The Victorians would not have understood that -- for them, the fetish was shocking and dangerous, the true dark side of sexuality. Freud saw fetishism as the result of linking unresolved childhood drives to objects that seemed "safe": you could not lust after your mother, but you could lust after her high-heeled shoe.

But the line between what society accepts and does not accept is not always clear. Most people would say that they disapprove of fantasies that revolve around inflicting serious harm on oneself or somebody else -- but at the same time, renowned sex researchers Masters and Johnson found that one of the most common themes in the sexual fantasies of both men and women is being forced to have sex(others include making love to a different partner form the usual one and watching others have sex).

There is also a legal debate as to the degree to which people should be allowed to harm themselves, or to harm others even with full consent. Research into sexual fantasies is complicated and must rely on what patients report to their therapists, but some studies have found links with childhood events -- either sexual violence or a strict, repressed upbringing. There is an obvious distinction between fantasy and action -- a fantasy does not harm others. However, some people who have fantasies that involve serious harm to themselves or others claim that they feel compelled to act them out.

People with less extreme fantasies sometimes choose to turn them into reality. Generally, four factors influence whether or not people try to do this:

how powefully erotic the fantasies are
how confident the fantasizer is
how receptive the partner is
how bizarre the fantasy is

Many dramatize only a small aspect: for example, a woman who dreams of bondage may wrap scarves loosely around her partner's wrists. Some sex therapists use the acting out of fantasies as part of their treatment, arguing that one of the causes of anxiety about sex is not knowing what one's partner enjoys, but they warn that the process may cause the fantasy to lose its ability to arouse: the fantasy may sometimes turn out to be more fulfilling than the reality.

When you brighten up the world, you brighten your experience of life.

When you carry out acts of kindness, you get a wonderful feeling inside. It is as though something inside your body responds and says,"Yes! This is how I ought to feel." ~ Harold Kushner

Daydreams

2007-04-06T16:49:00.000-07:00

Hypnagogic hallucinations are vivid perceptual experiences occurring at sleep onset while hypnopompic hallucinations are similar experiences but occurring at awakening.

Many surveys suggest that ordinary men and women, who are neither disturbed nor neurotic, spend a large part of each day in some sort of fantasy, reverie or daydream. In an unusual British study, the psychologist E. J. Dearnley recorded what he was thinking and doing whenever a buzzer sounded at random times during a number of 24 hour periods. Dearnley found that fantasies or daydreams accounted for an astonishing 11% of his waking hours.

Even individuals doing work that requires a high degree of concentration can lapse into daydreams. Michael Czikzentmihalyi of the University of Chicago found that even surgeons have been known to slip into financial or sexual fantasies while performing operations. These types of quick fantasy rarely have a structured narrative. They are moments when we stop paying attention to what we are seeing and hearing and switch into an inner theatre of the imagination where we can play at wish fulfillment. Many of Dearnely's daydreams, for example, centred around sitting in the local pub.

But there are other fantasies qualitatively different from these "wouldn't it be nice if...?" stories. These are sustained fantasies, which often seem to have been crafted, worked and reworked to meet some more profound psychological need. Sustained fantasies usually take the form of longer, more coherent narratives, and are typically clearer and more easily interpreted than dreams. In 'The House of Make Believe', Jerome Singer of Yale University traces the links between childhood fantasies and those of later life. Since claims that sustained fantasies, which may run longer than 60 seconds, are a way of coping with deep-seated childhood anxieties and fears. Indeed, it is Singer's view that all fantasies are healing and creative: even guilty fantasies are a way of purging guilt.

Psychiatrists who deal with certain kinds of offenders would disagree. When one daydreams, normal inhibitions are bypassed: for many criminals, this provides a mental theatre in which to rehearse violent scenarios. The evidence of the rather macabre biographies of serial killers shows that they had frequently recurring violent fantasies before they turned to murder.

A third type of daydream is the hypnagogic hallucination. This type of vivid image may be experienced on the edges of consciousness when one is either just falling asleep or, less frequently, on waking up. Hypnagogic hallucinations are often said to possess an exaggerated sense of reality combined with super-saturated colour. They are particularly fascinating because, unlike dreams, they are subject to the control of the will. The Belgian psychologist Jon Varendock tried hard to bring the phenomenon of hypnagogic hallucination within the field of psychoanalytic theory in the same way that Freud had shed light on the content of dreams. However, many of the images that were presented by his subjects were confused, proving extremely difficult to interpret in terms of wish fulfillment, and could not be 'read' as easily as the stories that we tell ourselves in daydreams.

The hypnagogic hallucinatios that we sometimes experience on the verge of waking are vivid, colour-saturated images. Hypnagogia (also spelled hypnogogia) are the experiences a person can go through in the hypnagogic (or hypnogogic) state, the period of falling asleep. Hypnopompia are the experiences a person may go through in the hypnopompic state, the period of waking up. The term hypnagogia often encompasses hypnopompia as well. Hypnagogic sensations collectively describe the vivid dream-like auditory, visual, or tactile sensations that can be experienced in a hypnagogic or hypnopompic state. These sensations can be accompanied by sleep paralysis, the sensation that the body is temporarily paralyzed after waking or before falling asleep.

I am here for you. You are here for me. We are here for others.

Strange is our situation here upon earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to divine a purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: that people are here for the sake of other people. ~ Albert Einstein

Meaning Of Dreams

2007-04-05T09:11:00.000-07:00

The content of our dreams has traditionally been thought to reveal a higher spiritual order. Jacob's Ladder by the artist and mystic William Blake (1757 - 1827) portrays the dream of Jacob from the book of Genesis:"And he dreamed that there was a ladder set up on the earth, the top of it reaching to heaven; and the angels of God were ascending and descending on it."

Sleep is one of several types of daily rhythm, also known as circadian rhythm, seen in the human body. Other rhythms involve the body temperature, which peaks for most people between about five and seven P.M and is lowest between about four and six A.M.

Most of the endocrine glands operate according to circadian rhythms as well. When a person moves to a new activity cycle, as when going from a day shift to a night shift, or flying to a new time zone, it can take several days, even a week or two according to some studies, to completely readjust. During this time, he or she is said to experience jet lag, a feeling of general fatigue accompanied by decreased efficiency, difficulty with sleeping and even digestive disorders.

Much of what is known about sleep has been learned through the study of the small continuous electrical signals recorded from the cortex. These are recorded by a device called an electroencephalogram (EEG) that depicts arousal patterns in a waveform graph. A number of distinct EEG patterns, or "rhythms", are commonly recognized.

Jungian therapists recognize three levels of dreams. Level 1 dreams have no deep symbolic meaning, and are just remnants of the recent thoughts and feeling s of the conscious mind. Level 2 dreams use symbols to express material in the personal unconscious -- material that relates primarily to our physical and sexual preoccupations -- and in this sense they employ symbols in a similar way to that proposed by Freud. Level 3 dreams, or what Jung called "great dreams", are qualitatively different. They contain emotionally-charged and powerful symbols that express the innate qualities and behavioural predispositions that make us human -- what Jung called archetypes. The archetypes reside deep in the collective unconscious of every person, and can emerge only in symbolic form because they evolved before humankind acquired speech; and because they are so ancient, archetypal symbols are common to all humans.

Many believe that Jung's concept of the collective unconsicous has no basis in fact: how could these ancient symbols, they ask, be passed on over the centuries? To these sceptics, the only explanation -- infinitely less mystical than Jung's -- is that cultural influences have been brought to bear on our dreams.

The meaning of dreams
Dreams have been interpreted in most cultures since ancient times. modern theories of the meaning of dreams began with Sigmund Freud. In his great work, The Interpretation of Dreams, he suggested that the manifest content of a dream conceal a hidden or latent content which expresses some form of wish fulfillment -- often dealing with sex or violence -- that is not acceptable to the conscious mind.

At the opposite pole, some brain scientists suggest that dreams have no meaning at all, but represent random activity of the cortex during sleep. A variation on this view is offered by Nobel Prize-winning scientists Francis Crick, who argues that dreams are the accidental by-products of the fine-tuning and "review" that the brain undergoes while we sleep. One implication of this "fine-tuning" theory is that the meaning or stories we find in our dreams are actually interpretations we impose on the otherwise random bits and pieces of information and memory our brains are reviewing, all in a night's work.

Perhaps the most balanced view is to recognize that dreams are a basic biological event, but that their content reflects major psychological issues of the dreamer.

Anger blows out the lamp of the mind. We have a right to claim our own feelings. Sometimes we get angry, but hold it inside because we think it's wrong to feel it. If anger builds inside us, it expands like a balloon ready to burst. If not released, it can make us depressed, or even physically ill. When we give ourselves permission to feel anger, we are better able to get rid of it in a healthy way.

Our inner voice can tell us how to let go of our anger. And once we've released it, we can easily get in touch with the feelings that caused it.

When we recognize our anger for what it is -- one feeling among many others that makes us unique -- it loses its significance, and we can prevent it from consuming us.

Indira Ghandi said, "You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist".

When we let go of our anger we can honestly embrace each other with open arms.

Types of Sleep

2007-04-04T08:31:00.000-07:00

Psychologists distinguish between two major categories of sleep: dream sleep and non-dream sleep. Subjects who are observed to experience rapid eye movement (REM) during sleep are most likely to report dreaming. Thus while REM and dreaming are not the same thing, REM is generally interpreted as a sign of dreaming, and non-REM (NREM) sleep is generally expected to be non-dream sleep.

Types of Sleep
1. Non-Dream Sleep
Upon first going to sleep, we usually enter non-dream or NREM sleep. There are four levels or stages of NREM sleep: Stage one, stage two, stage three and stage four. Typically, we progress in order through these four stages -- from stage one through stage four -- during the first 30 - 45 minutes of sleep. After that we move between them throughout the night, spending proportionately larger amounts of time in stages two and three.

The EEG pattern that characterizes ordinary wakefulness is the beta rhythm, a low amplitude pattern of "fast" activity of twelve or more cycles per second. With the onset and deepening of sleep, the EEG patterns change from fast rhythms of low amplitude to slow rhythms of high amplitude.

Stage one: This most superficial stage of sleep is not actually sleep at all in the usual sense but simply the first stage of relaxing into sleep. It is characterized by a passive, restful, state of mind. The EEG is dominated by alpha rhythms in the range of eight to twelve Hz.

Stage two: This stage carries a feeling of drifting off to sleep. There may be a pleasant sense of falling, or the presence of hypnogogic images: vivid but usually stationary images that drift before the mind's eye. These are not dreams, which are much more complex than hypnogogic images. The EEG in stage two sleep exhibits slower and larger theta rhythms, ranging from about four to seven Hz. The presence in the EEG record of brief bursts of high amplitude activity called sleep spindles indicate that the person is drifting into the deeper stages of sleep.

Stage three: This is considered an intermediate level of sleep. It is during this stage that most large body movements occur during the night. The EEG pattern seen in this stage is termed delta rhythm. Delta rhythm can range from one to three Hz, but tends towards two or three Hz in stage three.

Stage Four: This is the deepest stage of NREM sleep. It is also the most restful stage, though we typically spend only about 20% of the night in it. In this stage, the body is deeply relaxed and there is little movement. The EEG seen here is delta rhythm and is very large in amplitude and very slow -- close to one Hz.

Periods of stage four sleep may be relatively long early in the sleep cycle but become shorter as the night goes on. Sleepwalking and sleep talking occur in this stage and are not associated with dreaming. Nightmares, different from ordinary bad dreams, can also occur in this stage. Nightmares or "night terrors" are characterized by unpleasant emotional arousal but are not necessarily accompanied by vivid visual or auditory images. Nightmares are not uncommon in children, who usually grow out of them.

2. Dream Sleep
About every 90 minutes during the course of the night the EEG pattern makes a rapid transition from the deeper stages (three and four) to a rhythm that resembles that of stage one or two. This new sleep pattern is associated with dreaming (dream sleep). It has also been called paradoxical sleep because according to the EEG the individual appears only lightly asleep, while in fact he or she is behaviourally harder to awaken than even from stage four, the deepest sleep.

Dream sleep is also termed REM sleep, because of the tendency of the eyes to move quickly under the closed eyelids -- as if the dreamer's eyes were following dream activities. During REM sleep, the large skeletal muscles of the body become completely flaccid, though movement may be seen in the extremities.

Unlike stage four sleep, periods of REM tend to be very short during the first hours of the night, growing in length as the night goes by. They may be as long as 30 - 45 minutes by the early hours of the morning.

There is one altered state of consciousness that we have all experienced -- dreaming sleep. Dreams are so different from our normal state of awareness that they were once seen as supernatural in origin, and sometimes as vehicles for prophecy. In the account of Pharaoh's dream in the book of Genesis, for example, the appearance of seven fat and seven thin cattle is interpreted by Joseph as predicting the advent of seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine.

Sleep And Dreams

2007-04-03T07:50:00.000-07:00

Carl Jung believed that unconscious archetypes broke into our dreams, often appearing as characters from myth or legend. The animus, for example, which Jung held to be the male energy in the female unconscious, could emerge in the form of an idealized man, such as a knight in shining armour. The trickster, the rebellious, mocking energy of the collective unconscious, appears as a jester or fool.

For centuries, people have believed that their dreams are significant. In ancient Egypt, the gods were thought to speak through the dreams of the Pharaohs, and in other cultures, too, dream experiences were given supernatural significance, often being seen as night time visits of the soul to other worlds. In Judeo-Christian tradition, angels often arrive in dreams, bringing revelations. Dreams seem to promise an understanding of the universe, the gods or the self; and decoding the often bizarre streams of events and symbols that populate our dreams has always been a preoccupation of inquirers into the nature of the mind.

Freud's theories of dreaming did not invoke supernatural causes. In his 'Interpretation of Dreams' (1899), Freud proposed that dreams are expressions of material that is too frightening or guilt-laden to find a conscious outlet and so becomes repressed in the unconscious; they provide a means of fulfilling our repressed infantile desires. Through interpretation, dreams become a "royal road to a knowledge of the unconscious."

Rather than appearing in our dreams in a literal form, the repressed material was woven into complex symbols that disguised its true nature. Protected from having to confront our unconscious desires and anxieties, we can enjoy the psychological and physiological benefits of sleep. The dream, therefore, was for Freud "the guardian of sleep".

Freud relied on the technique of free association to discover the latent content of dream symbols. He believed that the symbols that appeared in dreams are influenced by personal experiences and by what is current in the culture of time. Those that do not depend on personal associations and are wholly the result of cultural influences are the classic Freudian symbols, the source of endless comment and jokes. For example, anything that can penetrate or be erected, such as a sword, pistol or tower, symbolizes the male genitalia, while anything that can contain or be entered, such as a purse, jewellery box or cave, is a symbol of the female genitalia. At the same time, everyone has a personal history and that creates its own symbols.

The dream theories of Carl Jung owe much to the work of Freud. Like Freud, Jung believed that dreams were expressions of unconscious material, but he differed sharply when defining the meanings and origins of dream symbols. His theories, although interesting and influential, are also essentially impossible to prove or disprove.

Freud and Jung both maintained that there was a psychological "purpose" in dreaming, but other theorists dismiss dreams as trivial, seeing them simply as mental by-products of the mind's daily business.

This possibility seems unlikely, however, especially since studies have shown that dreaming sleep occurs in a wide range of animal species: its long evolutionary history strongly suggests that it is of some biological importance. Moreover, experiments on sleep deprivation show that when people are finally allowed to sleep after a long period of wakefulness, they catch up first on their dreaming sleep, which again suggests that dreams are somehow necessary.

There is at present no convincing biological explanation for our dream life. There are however, a number of rival theories: these include the notion that dreaming allows the consolidation of memory traces; that it helps the renewal of proteins in the brain; and that it is somehow associated with maintaining the integrity of the personality. This last theory is supported by Michel Jouvet, who argues that it is during REM sleep that an individual's DNA has time to reprogram itself. Jouvet suggests that "If you use drugs to suppress dreams in an individual... then his genetic reprogramming to be aggressive, to be himself, to be free-willed may disappear." If he is right, dreaming is not simply an altered state of consciousness but rather one upon which our normal, conscious behaviour depends. Jouvet's ideas remain controversial, adding to the many debates on the subject.

What do cats dream about?
In one of the most startling of dream experiments, Michel Jouvet surgically removed the pons of a cat -- the brain structure that suppresses movement of an animal's body during REM sleep. When the cat fell into REM sleep following the operation, it was able to move and literally "act out" its dreams. Jouvet observed the cat's behaviour and, to the dismay of cat lovers, reported the following," What you see in the cat is nearly always aggressive behaviour. Very stereotyped, extremely monotonous. Cats that are very nice normally become vicious tigers when they are dreaming and throw themselves at imaginary prey. I used to have one in my office that would terrify people when it was dreaming."

States of Consciousness

2007-04-02T07:37:00.000-07:00

Almost a hundred years ago William James observed that ordinary consciousness is but one of many potential types of consciousness which surround it, separated from it by the thinnest of veils. Some of these other types of consciousness, such as dream sleep, are relatively well-known, while others, such as mystical states, are not so well understood.

A state of consciousness is a stable configuration or pattern of pyschological processes such as mood, memory, ability to reason, body sense, sense of self, and so on. Much of what is known by psychologists about consciousness is in fact the result of research focused on so-called altered states or alternative modes of consciousness, such as sleep, hypnosis, meditation, and the effects of pscyhoactive drugs. Research on these altered states allows us to infer what is "normal" in nonaltered states of consciousness.

It is not possible to divide states of being into the neat categories of consciousness and unconsciousness. Too many curious and interesting states lie between, challenging a simple definition. These altered states of consciousness defy objective description because they are intensely personal. Nevertheless, these experiences, which range from the mild distraction of a daydream to wild, drug-induced hallucinations, can have certain common characteristics.

Perceptions of the self and of the outside world may change -- some drugs, for example, radically alter perception of space and time. Scientists and artists have long been fascinated by altered states of consciousness and many, such as the British author Aldous Huxley (1894 -1963), experimented with drugs partly to see what they would do to the workings of the mind: Huxley's experiences with mescalin are recorded in his book 'The Doors of Perception (1954). Drugs, legal and illegal, can make the mind both less and more critical as users become less inhibited but also sometimes paranoid.

In an altered state of consciousness, we have a sense of touching on truths usually denied us in normal consciousness, and of exploring more fundamental aspects of the self. The term "altered states" covers a number of phenomena. Some arise naturally and automatically (dreaming for example, is thought to be common to all mammals). Others are attained through learned techniques such as meditation. Some are induced by drugs. Others still -- the paranormal states -- are highly controversial, and many people doubt their existence. The diverse nature of these states of consciousness raises many questions about the operation of the human mind. For example, Freud considered dreams to be essential maintenance for the mind, and some psychologists see dreams as devices that help to consolidate long term memories.

The issue of the paranormal is more complex because it is even harder to document than other forms of altered state experiences. However, if paranormal states, such as telepathy and psychokinesis, can be shown to have any substance, then it will be virtually impossible to discount non-material theories of consciousness.

To understand altered states one must assess subjective accounts of what it is like to "be in" these states, along with objective research that tries to identify their physiological basis and effects. These subjective and objective realities can be very different. For example, the Mekeo, a New Guinea tribe, have a concept of the soul that is very unlike the Christian one. In their viw, when a person dreams, the soul issues forth and has adventures in the landscape of sleep. The soul belongs to a particular body, but the physical brain has no control over its nocturnal doings. When a Mekeo wakes up, he is often worried about what his soul has got up to, because the consequences of its activities may return to haunt his waking self. To a physiologist, this model of different levels of consciousness seems to be mere superstition; yet to the Mekeo, it feels like experiential truth. In addition, because the mind becomes less critical during the experience of an altered state, it is difficult, if not impossible, to explain it in language that can be understood by someone who is not in that state.

The more we learn about altered states, the more it becomes apparent that the boundaries between conscious and unconscious, voluntary and automatic, awake and asleep, are blurred at the edges.

For millennia people have used drugs, such as opium to achieve altered states of consciousness. Many artists have believed that drugs could unleash creative forces. The British poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 - 1834) reputedly wrote his mysterious short poem "Kubla Khan" in an opium-induced haze. The French poets Arther Rimbaud (1854 - 1891) and Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867) both became addicts. In the 1960s, Timothy Leary and other beat gurus claimed that drugs such as LSD could take them to otherwise unreachable parts of the psyche. Those who fear the effects of drugs, however, maintain that these romantic claims are delusions, and that most people who take drugs do so because they cannot cope with reality.

Theories Of Forgetting II

2007-02-27T07:19:00.000-08:00

One of the first people to study the mechanisms of forgetting was German psychologist Hermann Ebbinghaus. Using himself as the sole subject in his experiment, he memorized lists of three letter nonsense syllable words - two consonants and one vowel in the middle. He then measured his own capacity to relearn a given list of words after a variety of given time period. He found that forgetting occurs in a systematic manner, beginning rapidly and then leveling off. Although his methods were primitive, his basic premises have held true today and have been reaffirmed by more metholodogically sound methods.

Forgetting can have very different causes than simply removal of stored content. Forgetting can mean access problems, availability problems, or can have other reasons such as amnesia caused by an accident.

Short-term memories are often subject to forgetting, while long-term memories are rarely forgotten, though they sometimes become inaccessible.

A debatable yet popular concept is "trace decay", which can occur in both short and long-term memory. This theory, applicable mostly to short-term memory, is contradicted by the fact that one is able to ride a bike even after not having done so for decades. Flashbulb memories are another piece of contradicting evidence. It is believed that certain memories "trace decay" while others don't. Sleep is believed to play a key role in halting trace decay, although the exact mechanism of this is unknown.

Cue-Dependent Recall
Cognitive psychological theories explain that when new information is learned (encoded), it is stored in the context of other information (cues) present at the moment. Recall is most effective when the person attempts to remember again in the presence of these cues. This is known as cue-dependent recall. For instance, the recall of terms learned in a pscyhology class is best done in the room where the class is held and not, say, at the beach in the summertime. The classroom itself is a cue to effective retrieval.

Other cues can include mental associations made with the material at the time it is learned and even one's mood or state of mind (thus the term "state-dependent" remembering).

Cue-Dependent Forgetting
Cue-Dependent Forgetting refers to an inability to retrieve information when the other cues are not present. An example is trying to remember terms from psychology class while one is vacationing at the beach.

The Encoding-Specificity Principle: Implied by this process is its converse, the encoding-specificity principle. This principle asserts that recall is best in the presence of the cues that were originally present.

Mnemonics: Advantage can be taken of encoding-specificity to create powerful cues for specific terms of information that one desires to memorize. Such strategies for memory are termed mnemonics, from the Greek word mnemon, "mindful".

Ancient Greek orators, for example, used the method of loci. They would imagine themselves walking through familiar places like a building or garden. While memorizing, they would associate each object or room "encountered" in the building with a point to be made in their speech. Later, while giving the speech, they would imagine retracing their walk through the building and encountering these objects, reminding them of the points they wished to make.

A common mnemonic method used today is to think of silly rhymes or absurd images to associate with items in a list that must be set to memory. For instance, an English medical school limerick used to aid in memorizing the names of the twelve cranial nerves goes as follows: "On old Olympus' towering tops, a Finn and German viewed some hops." The first letter of each word in the limerick (O, O, O, T, etc) is the same as the first letter of each cranial nerve (Olfactory, Optic, Oculomotor, Trochlear, etc). Similarly, many college students memorize lists of structures or points by memorizing their initials in order and forming acronums of those initials, easily reproducing and decoding the acronyms during exams.

Big Difference
The Boss drives his men, The Leader inspires them..
The Boss depends on authority, The Leader depends on goodwill..
The Boss evokes fear, The Leader radiates love..
The Boss says "I", The Leader says "We"..
The Boss shows who is wrong, The Leader shows what is wrong..
The Boss knows how it is done, The Leader knows how to do it..
The Boss demands respect, The Leader commands respect.

Theories Of Forgetting I

2007-02-26T17:26:00.000-08:00

Forgetting (retention loss) is a spontaneous or gradual process in which old memories are unable to be recalled from memory storage. It is subject to delicately balanced optimization that ensures that relevant memories are recalled. Forgetting can be prevented by repetition and/or evaluation of the information.

Memory storage, recall and forgetting is still a hotly debated field of inquiry. Little is known for sure about how humans encode, store and recall memories. It appears to involve changes on a biochemical level, which take time to occur. This contributes to the phenomenon of short-term memory and the learning curve.

There are many theories of why forgetting occurs, ranging from common-sense explanations to those more solidly supported by research.

1. Decay Theory
Disuse
A common explanation for forgetting is the notion of decay, which states that if information is not used in it is gradually lost. The disuse theory of decay argues that information must be retrieved occasionally or it will be lost, as if through a process of atrophy.

One problem with disuse theory is that one frequently remembers events from one's past or information learned long ago and not thought of since. Disuse theory alone cannot explain why certain memories fade forever while others seem to be produced after long periods in well-preserved form.

Memory Traces
Early and recent biological theories have attributed the decay of some memories to the slow loss of the actual brain substrate of the memory, termed the memory trace or engram, thought to be responsible for memory storage.

Memory trace theories might argue that some memories are retained though not retrieved for years because, when originally stored, they were exceptionally vivid, and so left stronger, deeper biological "traces" which were more easily aroused many years later.

Motivated Forgetting
While memory seems useful and forgetting a nuisance, it is important to consider the special case of unpleasant memories. In these instances one might be motivated to "forget" or be unable to retrieve certain memories to conscious review.

Freud, for example, considered such motivated forgetting to be an example of repression, a psychic defense mechanism that can occur when memories are painful or threatening. Repression is a process whereby unpleasant ideas -- real memories as well as shameful fantasies -- are moved from conscious consideration to storage in one's unconscious mind, where they will be unavailable to conscious efforts at retrieval.

2. Interference Theory
The above explanations for forgetting, while valuable, do not account for ordinary day-to-day forgetting. A more useful explanation is found in interference theory. The basic idea in interference theory is that memories are not lost so much as they are inhibited, or interfered with, by other memories. There are two types of such interference, termed retroactive interference and proactive interference. Depending on the process assumed to be taking place, they are sometimes referred to respectively as retroactive inhibition and proactive inhibition.

Retroactive Interference
Retroactive interference occurs when later learning interferes, as if retroactively ("acting backwards"), with previous learning. For example, suppose that on Monday one studies Spanish and on Tuesday Italian. During a Spanish test taken on Wednesday intrusions are experienced from Italian words. Retroactive interference explains our inability to recall old memories as due to competition from new memories.

Proactive Interference
Proactive interference occurs when earlier learning interferes proactively("acting forwards" in time) with later learning. Persistent habits provide good examples of proactive interference. Suppose one has lived for several years in an apartment with one kitchen drawer next to the sink where the tableware is always stored. The new apartment, however, has a bigger kitchen and the tableware is now stored in the drawer next to the stove. When hurried or preoccupied, one "forgets" this new plan and habitually seeks knives and forks in the wrong drawer, the drawer by the sink, which corresponds tot he "old" storage place instead of the new one.

Proactive interference thus explains one's inability to acquire new knowledge or habits because of the powerful competition of old memories.

Creating Opportunity
An enterprising person is one who comes across a pile of scrap metal and sees the making of a wonderful sculpture. An enterprising person is one who drives through an old decrepit part of town and sees a new housing development. An enterprising person is one who sees opportunity in all areas of life.

To be enterprising is to keep your eyes open and your mind active. It's to be skilled enough, confident enough, creative enough and disciplined enough to seize opportunities that present themselves... regardless of the economy.

A person with an enterprising attitude says, "Find out what you can before action is taken." Do your homework. Do the research. Be prepared. Be resourceful. Do all you can in preparation of what's to come.

Enterprising people always see the future in the present. Enterprising people always find a way to take advantage of a situation, not be burdened by it. And enterprising people aren't lazy. They don't wait for opportunities to come to them, they go after the opportunities. Enterprise means always finding a way to keep yourself actively working toward your ambition.

Enterprise is two things. The first is creativity. You need creativity to see what's out there and to shape it to your advantage. You need creativity to look at the world a little differently. You need creativity to take a different approach, to be different.

What goes hand-in-hand with the creativity of enterprise is the second requirement: the courage to be creative. You need courage to see things differently, courage to go against the crowd, courage to take a different approach, courage to stand alone if you have to, courage to choose activity over inactivity.

And lastly, being enterprising doesn't just relate to the ability to make money. Being enterprising also means feeling good enough about yourself, having enough self worth to want to seek advantages and opportunities that will make a difference in your future. And by doing so you will increase your confidence, your courage, your creativity and your self-worth, your enterprising nature.

Memory

2007-02-25T16:10:00.000-08:00

Psychologists consider memory to be a different process from learning, although the two are closely related. Whereas learning refers to the acquisition of new behaviours, memory refers to the process of saving or storing information so that it might be available when needed.

In psychology, memory is an organism's ability to store, retain, and subsequently recall information. Although traditional studies of memory began in the realms of philosophy, the late nineteenth and early twentieth century put memory within the paradigms of cognitive psychology. In the recent decades, it has become one of the principal pillars of a new branch of science called cognitive neuroscience, a marriage between cognitive psychology and neuroscience.

Retention Of Memory
While memory refers to the set of processes involved in storing information, the specific process or state of storage is termed retention.

The three basic ways to measure retention are recall, recognition and relearning.

1. Recall
Recall refers simply to remembering or producing spontaneously the informatin requested, as must be done for an essay test. In responding to an essay item, one must search one's available recollections for the necessary information. Likewise, when encountering a new acquaintance, one must search one's past associations with the person to produce his or her name.

2. Recognition
Recognition is the ability to recognize the correct information, as on a multiple-choice test. In choosing the correct answer on a multiple-choice test, one must scan the choices and identify the one that matches one's past information about this item. Thus, in recognition, two processes are undertaken and compared: a review of what is being perceived, and a review of what is remembered. When a match is found, we say recognition has occurred.

Recognition is also necessary in such mundane tasks as retrieving the correct coat or umbrella from a closet -- finding one's own instead of taking someone else's -- and such unusual tasks as eyewitness identification of crime suspects in a book of mugshots or a police lineup.

3. Relearning
Relearning requires that the material actually be relearned, for example, learning again a list of forgotten names. When the method of relearning is used, psychologists look for a savings score, measuring the extent to which the material is relearned more quickly than it had been originally learned. For example, the less time one needs to relearn a list of names, the more of the list one must have remembered from the first lesson. The time saved represents one form of savings evident in relearning.

The sensitivity of a retention measure is its tendency to detect memory effects under various conditions. Of these three measures of retention, recall is the least sensitive, that is, it requires the best retention. Relearning, on the other hand, is most sensitive, often showing savings even if none of the original material can actually be recalled. Recognition is less sensitive than relearning, but more sensitive than recall.

The Dark Candle
A man had a little daughter, an only and much-beloved child. He lived for her -- she was his life. So when she became ill and her illness resisted the efforts of the best obtainable physicians, he became like a man possessed, moving heaven and earth to bring about her restoration to health.

His best efforts proved unavailing and the child died. The father was totally irreconcilable. He became a bitter recluse, shutting himself away from his many friends and refusing every activity that might restore his poise and bring him back to his normal self. But one night he had a dream. He was in Heaven, and was witnessing a grand pageant of all the little child angels. They were marching in an apparently endless line past the Great White Throne. Every white-robed angelic tot carried a candle. He noticed that one child's candle was not lighted. Then he saw that the child with the dark candle was his own little girl. Rushing to her, while the pageant faltered, he seized her in his arms, caressed her tenderly, and then asked, "How is it, darling that your candle alone is unlighted?"

"Father, they often relight it, but your tears always put it out."

Just then he awoke from his dream. The lesson was crystal clear, and its effects were immediate. From that hour on he was not a recluse, but mingled freely and cheerfully with his former friends and associates. No longer would his little darling's candle be extinguished by his useless tears.

Universal Laws Of Success V

2007-02-24T05:36:00.000-08:00

The Laws of Nature are neither matter or energy - they are the phenomena that control the action and interaction of all matter and energy in the universe. They are universally invariant, conditions may change but the laws never vary. They created the universe (space) and determined its size. The concept of the "laws of nature" and "universal space" are the same. Where the "laws of nature" end, universal space ends. Nothing can exist beyond their domain. They are the framework of the universe that give it its personality.

1. The Law of Desire
The one who most wants the negotiation to succeed has the least bargaining power.

You can only negotiate effectively on your own behalf when you are willing to walk away if the price or terms are unsatisfactory.

2. The Law of Reciprocity
People are inherently fair and are motivated to pay you back for any nice things you do for them.

By making small concessions in a negotiation, you may be able to get large concessions in return.

3. The Law of Finality
No negotiation is ever final. If you get new information, or you are unhappy with the agreed upon terms, ask to reopen the negotiation.

Be willing to adjust the price and terms for the other person as well, if he or she is unhappy.

4. The Law of Abundance
We live in an abundant universe where there is an ample supply of money for all those who really want it.

To achieve financial independence, make a decision today to accumulate wealth and then do what others have done before you to accomplish the same goal.

5. The Law of Exchange
Money is the medium of exchange between the goods and services produced by one person and the goods and services produced by another.

The amount you earn at any time is a reflection of the value that others place upon your contribution.

6. The Law of Capital
Capital represents assets that can be deployed to generate cash flow. Your most valuable asset is your earning ability.

Your physical, mental and intellectual resources -- continually growing and changing -- are your personal capital.

7. The Law of Saving
Pay yourself first. Financial freedom comes to those who save 10 percent or more of their income throughout their lives.

If you cannot save money, the seeds of greatness are not in you.

8. The Law of Conservation
It's not how much you make but how much you keep that counts.

Successful people save in prosperous times so they have a financial cushion in times of recession.

9. Parkinson's Law
Expenses always rise to meet income. This is why most people retire poor.

To become wealthy, you must spend less than you earn, and save the balance.

10. The Law of Opportunity
Difficulties come not to obstruct, but to instruct. Within every setback or obstacle lies seeds of an equal or greater benefit of opportunity.

Turn your stumbling blocks into stepping stones to success.

11. The Law of Courage
The systematic, deliberate development of courage is essential to the achievement of success. Fear is the greatest single obstacle to achievement.

Make a habit of always confronting the things you fear and doing them anyway.

12. The Law of Applied Effort
All great success and achievement is preceded and accompanied by hard, hard work. When in doubt, try harder. And if that doesn't work, try harder still.

And when you work, work all the time you work! Don't waste time.

13. The Law of Giving
The more you give of yourself without expectation of return, the more good that will come back to you, from the most unexpected sources.

You will only be truly happy when you feel that you are making a real difference in the world by serving others in some way.

14. The Law of Affirmation
Fully 95% of your thinking and feelings is determined by the way you talk to yourself. Your inner dialogue is accepted as commands by your subconscious mind.

Talk to yourself positively and constructively all the time, even when you don't feel like it.

15. The Law of Differentiation
Every product or service must be different and better in some unique way to succeed in a competitive marketplace.

Your competitive advantage must be perceivable, promotable and something the market will pay for.

16. The Law of Self-Development
You can learn anything you need to learn to achieve virtually any goal that you can set for yourself. Those who learn, can.

17. The Law of Talents
You contain within yourself a unique combination of talents and abilities which, properly identified and applied, will enable you to achieve virtually any goal you can set for yourself.

What parts of your work do you enjoy the most, and are you the best at? This is your best indicator of your true talents.

18. The Law of Excellence
Success and happiness are only possible when you become absolutely excellent at doing something you enjoy.

The quality of your life will be determined by your commitment to excellence more than by any other factor. ~ Vince Lombardi

Universal Laws Of Success IV

2007-02-23T04:59:00.000-08:00

All men are by nature equal, made, all, of the same earth by the same Creator...Until philosophers are kings, or the kings and princes of this world have the spirit and power of philosophy, and political greatness and wisdom meet in one, and those commoner natures who pursue either to the exclusion of the other are compelled to stand aside, cities will never have rest from their evils,--no, nor the human race, as I believe,--and then only will this our State have a possibility of life and behold the light of day. ~ Plato (427-347 B.C.)

Why do we get what we want sometimes, and other times what we want eludes us? Why are some born rich, others poor? Why do some have great talent while others are limited in ability? What causes the wind to blow, the earth to explode, the sea to churn?
When you live among nature you can see the ebbs and flows that constitute life. The changing of the seasons, the sprouting of seeds into a plant, the rising and setting of the sun. We learn to be in rhythm with creation. Like the cycles and phases of the Earth's moon our lives flow.
Universal energy moves in us, through us, and around us. The energy we breathe is the same energy that makes up Earth and the sun and the universe. The patterns and rhythms imply an intelligence, a Creator, imaging how the energy will flow. We call those patterns Universal Laws.

1. The Law of Identification
Hypersensitivity or taking things personally, is a major source of problems in relationships.

Only by not identifying, by detaching and viewing your relationship with some objectivity, can you enjoy it fully and act effectively within it.

2. The Law of Forgiveness
You are emotionally healthy to the exact degree to which you can freely forgive others for anything they may have done that has hurt you in any way.

The inability to forgive lies at the root of most unhappiness. It leads to feelings of guilt, resentment, anger and hostility toward others.

3. The Law of Reality
People don't change. Deal with them as they are. Don't try to change others or expect them to change. "What you see is what you get."

Unconditional acceptance of others is the way to happy relationships.

4. The Law of Minimum Effort
You always try to get the things you want with the very least effort possible. All technological advances are ways of getting greater output with less input.

All human beings are therefore basically lazy, seeking the easiest way possible at all times.

5. The Law of Maximization
You always try to get the very most in exchange for your time, money, effort or emotions. When given a choice between more or less for the same contribution, you will always choose more.

People are therefore basically greedy in everything they do. This is neither good nor bad in itself. It just is.

6. The Law of Expediency
You always try to get the things you want as quickly and as easily as possible with minimum regard to secondary consequences.

You tend to follow the path of least resistance in everything you do.

7. The Law of Duality
You always give one of two reasons for doing anything -- the reason that sounds good, or the real reason.

The reason that sounds good is always uplifting and noble. The real reason is because your action is the fastest and easiest way to get the things you want, right now.

8. The Law of Choice
Everything you do is a choice based on your dominant values at the moment. Even taking no action is a choice.

You are where you are and what you are because of your choices and decisions in life to this moment.

9. The Law of Subjective Value
All value is the eye of the beholder. There is no set value for anything. Something is only worth what someone else is willing to pay.

The person willing to pay ultimately determines the true value of any item.

10. The Law of Time Preference
You always prefer earlier rather than later in the satisfaction of any desire.

You are therefore impatient in virtually every area of your life.

11. The Law of Marginality
The ultimate price of any product or service is determined by what the last customers are willing to pay for the last items available.

Every sale, or mark-down of prices, is an admission that the vendor guessed wrongly when setting the original prices.

12. The Law of Supply and Demand
When the quantity of goods or resources is limited, an increase in the price will lead to a decrease in the demand, and vice versa.

Whatever you reward you get more of, whatever you punish you get less of. Taxes and regulations are punishment for productive activities. Welfare and benefits are rewards for unproductive activities.

13. Cohen's Law
Everything is negotiable. Every price or term, whether buying or selling, is a best-guess by someone as to what the market will bear.

Always ask for a better price.

14. Dawson's Law
You can always get a better deal if you know how to ask for it in the best possible way.

Always ask for more than you want. Never accept the first price quoted. Be patient, and then ask for more.

15. The Law of Timing
Timing is a critical aspect of any negotiation. Whenever you make an offer, give a deadline for acceptance.

On the other hand, if someone tries to give you a deadline to accept a deal, simply say,"If that's all the time I have, then the answer is no."

16. The Law of Terms
The terms of payment in a negotiation can be more important than price, or any other factor.

You can usually agree to almost any price if you can get very favourable terms.

17. The Law of Preparation
80% of success in negotiation is determined by the preparation you do, in advance.

Before negotiating, be sure to get the facts, do your homework and check your assumptions.

18. The Law of Reversal
Before negotiating, put yourself in the other person's position and negotiation from the point of view.

When you develop a good feel for the situation of the other person, you can more effectively negotiate the best deal for yourself.

Universal Laws Of Success III

2007-02-22T04:14:00.000-08:00

The Universe Is Governed By Universal Laws

Every good and grand religion has to teach people the law of karma. Otherwise, why do they bother to teach people to do good and be good, if we have no retribution later or any at all, or after-life at all? Why bother to be good, to do good? Because if you are bad, you are kind of naughty and sinful, you still only have this life. So the law of karma and also consequently the law of reincarnation is very, very common.

1. The Law of Emotion
You are 100% emotional in everything you think, feel and decide. You decide emotionally and justify logically.

Since you control your thoughts, you are as happy as you make up your mind to be.

2. The Law of Happiness
The quality of your life is determined by how you feel at any given moment. How you feel is determined by how you interpret what is happening around you, not by the events themselves.

It's never too late to have a happy childhood. At any time, you can go back and change the way you interprete those experiences to yourself.

3. The Law of Substitution
Your conscious mind can only hold one thought at a time, positive or negative. You can decide to be happy by substituting positive thoughts for negative ones.

Your mind is like a garden. Either weeds or flowers will grow.

4. The Law of Expression
Whatever is expressed, is impressed. Whatever you say to yourself, with emotion, generates thoughts, ideas and behaviours consistent with those words.

Be sure to talk about the things you want, and refuse to talk about the things you don't want.

5. The Law of Reversibility
Your thoughts and feelings determine your actions, and your actions, in turn, determine your thoughts and feelings.

By acting in a positive, pleasant and optimistic way, you become a positive, optimistic and enjoyable person.

6. The Law of Visualization
The world around you is an outpicturing of the world within you. The images you dwell upon affect your thoughts, feelings and behaviour.

Whatever you visualize clearly and emotionally will eventually materialize in your world.

7. The Law of Practice
Whatever you practice over and over becomes a new habit.

You can develop the attitudes, abilities and qualities of happiness and success by repeating them until they are firmly entrenched as part of your personality.

8. The Law of Commitment
The quality of love and the duration of a relationship are in direct proportion to the depth of the commitment by both people to making the relationship successful.

Commit yourself wholeheartedly and unconditionally to the most important people in your life.

9. The Law of Value
You are invariably attracted to, and most compatible with, people who have the same values, beliefs and convictions that you do.

Love is not blind.

10. The Law of Compatibility
You will be happy with another person to the degree to which you both share the same values, attitudes, ambitions and beliefs.

Look for someone who thinks and feels the way you do about the most important issues of life.

11. The Law of Communications
The quality of your relationships will be determined by the quality and quantity of your communication with other people.

Good communications require extended periods of time to build and maintain.

12. The Law of Attention
You pay attention to that which you most love and value.

Attentive listening to others lets them know that you love them and builds trust, the foundation of a loving relationship.

13. The Law of Self-Esteem
Everything you do in life is to either increase or to protect your self-esteem. You tend to be happiest with someone who makes you feel valuable and important.

The more things you do to raise the self-esteem of another, the more you like and respect yourself as well.

14. The Law of Indirect Effort
You will be more successful indirectly in relationships rather than directly. To have a friend, be a friend. To impress others, be impressed by them.

To develop and maintain loving relationships, become a loving person yourself.

15. The Law of Reverse Effort
The harder you try to force a relationship to work, the less successful it will be.

Relationships work best when you simply relax, be yourself and enjoy the moment.

Universal Laws Of Success II

2007-02-21T01:55:00.000-08:00

The Universal Laws are all inter-related and are founded on the understanding that everything in the universe is energy, including us, and that energy moves in a circular fashion. At the microscopic level, we are a whirling mass of electrons and energy atoms spinning rapidly. In fact, everything in the world is comprised of energy and we are intimately connected with this sea of energy, this sea of whirling electrons.

Our thoughts, feelings, words, and actions are all forms of energy. What we think, feel, say, and do in each moment comes back to us to create our realities. Energy moves in a circle, so what goes around comes around. The combined thoughts, feelings, words and actions of everyone on the planet creates our collective consciousness, it creates the world we see before us.

The exciting news is, because our thoughts, feelings, words and actions create the world around us, we have the power to create a world of peace, harmony and abundance. In order to do this, it is essential that we learn to control our thoughts and emotions. Understanding the Universals Laws help us to do this.

1. The Law of Choice
Your life is the sum total of all your choices up to this present minute.

Since you are always free to choose what you think about, you are in complete control of your olife and everything that happens to you.

2. The Law of Optimism
A positive mental attitude is essential for success and happiness in every area of life.

Your attitude is an expression of your values, beliefs and expectations.

3. The Law of Change
Change is inevitable. Because it is driven by expanding knowledge and technology, it is accelerating at a speed never seen before.

Your job is to be a master of change rather than a victim of change.

4. The Law of Control
You feel positive about yourself to the degree to which you feel you are in control of your own life.

Health, happiness and high performance begin with your taking complete control over your thinking, your actions and your circumstances in the world around you.

5. The Law of Responsibility
You are where you are and what you are because of you.

You are fully responsible for everything you are, everything you have and everything you become.

6. The Law of Compensation
The universe is completely balanced and in perfect order. You will always be compensated in full for everything you do.

You will get out what you put in. You can have more because you can contribute more.

7. The Law of Service
Your rewards in life will be in direct proportion to the value of your service to others.

The more you work, study and develop your ability to contribute more to the lives and well-being of others, the better life you will have in all areas.

8. The Law of Applied Effort
All your hopes, dreams, goals and aspirations are amendable to hard work.

The harder you work, the luckier you get. There are no shortcuts.

9. The Law of Preparation
Luck is when opportunity meets preparation. Perfect performance comes from painstaking preparation, often for weeks, months and years in advance.

The most successful people in every area invriably spend far more time in preparation than the least successful.

10. The Law of Forced Efficiency
There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most things.

The more you take on, the more efficient you become. You only learn how much you can actually do by trying to do too much.

11. The Law of Decision
Decisiveness is a vital quality of all successful people.

Every great leap forward in your life comes after you have made a clear decision of some kind.

12. The Law of Creativity
Whatever your mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.

Every advance in your life begins with an idea of some kind, and since your ability to generate new ideas is unlimited, your future can be unlimited as well.

13. The Law of Flexibility
Be clear about your goals; be flexible about the process of achieving them.

Flexibility and adaptability are the core qualities for success in an age of rapid change, competition, and obsolescence.

14. The Law of Persistence
Your ability to persist in the face of adversities, setbacks and disappointments is your measure of your belief in yourself.

Persistence is the iron quality of success; if you persist long enough you must eventually succeed.

15. The Law of Integrity
Happiness and high performance come to you when you choose to live your life consistent with your highest values and your deepest convictions.

Always be true to the very best that is within you.

Universal Laws Of Success I

2007-02-20T01:22:00.000-08:00

The Universal Laws operate at all levels: physical, mental, and spiritual. Universal Laws are fundamental laws of mind and spirit - they are as important to you as the air you breathe.

In law and ethics, Universal Law or Universal Principle refers to concept of legal legitimacy whereby those principles and rules for governing human conduct which are most universal in their acceptablity, their applicability, translation, and philosophical basis, are therefore considered to be most legitimate. Universal Law refers to the based and derived principles within such judgements, as they are cited and therefore become law.

Universal Laws are unbreakable, unchangeable principles of life that operate inevitably, in all phases of our life and existence, for all human beings and all things, everywhere, all the time.

1. The Law of Cause And Effect
Everything happens for a reason. For every cause there is an effect, and for every effect, whether you know it or not, there is a specific cause or causes. There are no accidents.

You can have anything you want in life if you can first decide exactly what it is, and then do the things that others have done to achieve the same result.

2. The Law of Mind
All causation is mental. Your thoughts become your realities. Your thoughts are creative. You become what you think about most of the time.

Think continually about the things you really want, and refuse to think about the things you don't want.

3. The Law of Mental Equivalency
The world around you is the physical equivalent of the world within you. Your main job in life is to create within your own mind the mental equivalent of the life you want to live.

Imagine your ideal life, in every respect. Hold that thought until it materializes around you.

4. The Law of Correspondence
Your outer life is a reflection of your inner life. There is a direct correspondence between the way you think and feel on the inside and the way you act and experience on the outside.

Your relationships, health, wealth and position are mirror images of your inner world.

5. The Law of Belief
Whatever you believe, with feeling, becomes your reality. You do not believe what you see; you see what you have already chosen to believe.

You must identify, then remove the self-limiting beliefs that hold you back.

6. The Law of Values
You always act in a manner consistent with your innermost values and convictions.

What you say and do, the choices you make -- especially under stress -- are an exact expression of what you truly value, regardless of what you say.

7. The Law of Motivation
Everything you do or say is triggered by your inner desires, drives and instincts. These may be conscious or unconscious.

The key to success is to set your own goals and determine your own motivations.

8. The Law of Subconscious Activity
Your subconscious mind makes all your words and actions fit a pattern consistent with your self-concept and your innermost beliefs about yourself.

Your subconscious mind will move you forward or hold you back depending on how you program it.

9. The Law of Expectations
Whatever you expect, with confidence, tends to materialize in the world around you.

You always act in a manner consistent with your expectations, and your expectations influence the attitudes and behaviours of the people around you.

10. The Law of Concentration
Whatever you dwell upon grows and expands in your life.

Whatever you concentrate upon and think about repeatedly increases in your world.

Therefore, you must focus your thinking on the things you really want in your life.

11. The Law of Habit
Fully 95% of everything you do is the result of your habits, either helpful or hurtful.

You can develop habits of success by practicing and repeating success behaviours over and over until they become automatic.

12. The Law of Attraction
You continually attract into your life the people, ideas and circumstances that harmonize with your dominant thoughts, either positive or negative.

You can be, have and do more because you can change your dominant thoughts.

For anything to function effectively there needs to be some kind of structure. There are laws that govern our universe called Universal Laws. These laws apply to everything, everywhere at all times in our universe. These laws enable our universe to function in an orderly fashion. Without these laws there would be chaos in the universe. By studying, understanding, cooperating, and applying these Universal Laws in our daily lives we can lead the most successful, fulfilling, abundant, joyful, and healthy life possible. Successful people have an intuitive understanding of these Universal Laws applying them consistently in their lives.

The Universal Laws

Amazing Optical Illusion

2007-01-02T05:25:00.000-08:00

Perceptual Constancies
Perceptual constancies are sources of many illusions. Color constancy and brightness constancy are responsible for the fact that a familiar object will appear the same color regardless of the amount of light reflecting from it. An illusion of color difference can be created, however, when the luminosity of the area surrounding an unfamiliar object is changed. The color of the object will appear darker against a black field which reflects less light compared to a white field even though the object itself did not change in color. Like color, the brain has the ability to understand familiar objects as having a consistent shape or size. For example a door is perceived as rectangle regardless as to how the image may change on the retina as the door is opened and closed. Unfamiliar objects, however, do not always follow the rules of shape constancy and may change when the perspective is changed. The Shepard illusion of the changing table is an example of an illusion based on distortions in shape constancy.

Sensation And Perception
Much of our knowledge begins as sensation. Information about physical changes is received by sensory neurons, transmitted to the brain, and interpreted or perceived. Each sensory system is structured to receive a particular form of physical energy and convert it into neural impulses to the brain.

The visual system processes light information, which is focused by the cornea and lens, received by light sensitive neurons in the retina called rods and cones, and transmitted to the brain via the optic nerve.

The process of audition or hearing involves translating sound -- a form of mechanical energy -- into neural energy. They qualities of sound amplitude and frequency are translated into the experiences of loudness and pitch. Both qualities are funneled via vibrations through the outer ear, along the structures of the middle ear, and to the vibration-sensitive hair cells in the inner ear. These specialized neurons transmit impulses along the auditory nerve to the brain.

Other senses studied included the vestibular sense or sense of balance; the skin senses, including touch and proprioception; gustation or taste; and olfaction or smell.

Optical Illusions

2007-01-01T05:32:00.000-08:00

Perceptual organization
In order to make sense of the world it is necessary to organize incoming sensations into information which is meaningful. Gestalt psychologists believe one way this is done is by perceiving individual sensory stimuli as a meaningful whole.

Gestalt organization can be used to explain many illusions including the Duck-Rabbit illusion where the image as a whole switches back and forth from being a duck then being a rabbit and why in the figure-ground illusion the figure and ground are reversible.

Depth and motion perception
Illusions can be based on an individual's ability to see in three dimensions even through the image hitting the retina is only two dimensional.

Like depth perception, motion perception is responsible for a number of sensory illusions. Film animation is based on the illusion that the brain perceives a series of slightly varied images produced in rapid succession as a moving picture. Likewise, when we are moving, as we would be while riding in a vehicle, stable surrounding objects may appear to move. We may also perceive a large object, like an airplane, to move more slowly, than smaller objects, like a car, although the larger object is actually moving at a faster rate. The Phi phenomenon is yet another example of how the brain perceives motion. The Phi phenomenon is an illusion created when adjacent lights are blinked on and off to create a sense of motion as in Christmas lighting or a neon sign.

Illusions

2006-12-31T04:39:00.000-08:00

An illusion is a distortion of a sensory perception, revealing how the brain normally organizes and interprets sensory stimulation. While illusions distort reality, they are generally shared by most people. Illusions can occur with each of the human senses, but visual illusions are the most well known and understood. The emphasis on visual illusions occurs because vision often dominates the other senses. For example, individuals watching a ventriloquist will perceive the voice is coming from the dummy since they are able to see the dummy mouth the words. Some illusions are based on general assumptions the brain makes during perception. These assumptions are made using organizational principles, like Gestalt, an individual's ability of depth perception and motion perception, and perceptual constancy. Other illusions occur because of biological sensory structures within the human body or conditions outside of the body within one’s physical environment.

Illusions, such as optical illusions, are erroneous perceptions. They are the result of complex interactions of visual cues and are not in all cases well understood. Often they seem to occur when there are few cues upon which to base a perceptual judgment, and one or more are supplying misinformation.

For example, looking with one eye through a small hole at a balloon in a box eliminates most of the cues for depth perception. In this situation, if the balloon is slowly inflated it gives the impression of actually remaining the same size but "moving toward" the viewer. This is because the size of the retinal image is ordinarily an important cue for distance. We judge relatively large things to be closer to us than relatively smaller objects. Young children who have learned this will sketch trees and people as tiny objects to indicate they are "far away" in the drawing they are producing.

Illusions may be learned and influenced by one's cultural context. Many popular textbook illusions, for example, feature straight-lined figures like arrows and lines. Research suggests that in primitive non-Western cultures, where buildings and natural surroundings offer few examples of straight lines, natives have developed no sets, or perceptual expectations, about straight-lined figures, and thus are not "fooled" by such ililusions.

Illusion In Art And Magic

Stage magic is a popular form of entertainment based on illusion. Magicians use tricks to give their audiences the impression that seemingly impossible events have occurred.

In fantasy works, actual magic may work by affecting the senses or producing an image, rather than producing a real change; this magic is frequently called illusion to distinguish it from more substantive forms of magic.

Mimes are known for a repertoire of illusions that are created by physical means. The mime artist creates an illusion of acting upon or being acted upon an unseen object. These illusions exploit the audience's assumptions about the physical world. Well known examples include "walls, "climbing stairs", "leaning", "descending ladders", "pulling and pushing", et cetera. Amongst mimes, these illusions are sometimes referred to as pantomime

In psychiatry and philosophy the term illusion refers to a specific form of sensory distortion. Unlike a hallucination, which is a sensory experience in the absence of a stimulus, an illusion describes a misinterpretation of a true sensation so it is perceived in a distorted manner. For example, hearing voices regardless of the environment would be a hallucination, whereas hearing voices in the sound of running water (or other auditory source) would be an illusion.

Perhaps less common than visual illusions (or maybe more subtle) touch illusions also exist. These "illusory" tactile objects can be used to create "virtual objects".

Responding To Stress III -- Adjustment

2006-12-30T20:17:00.000-08:00

There are two kinds of slaves, the prisoners of addiction, and the prisoners of envy.
~ Ivan Ilich

One criterion for mental health is adjustment -- a pattern of coping with stress and conflict across life situations. The alternative is a maladjusted pattern of behaviour, a characteristic of behavioural disorders.

Research on adjustment frequently begins as stress research that discovers effective coping strategies. Some important characteristics of adjustment are control, a sense of self-efficacy, and development of a stress-resistant personality.

1. Control
An important common factor in stressful situations is loss of control. For example, sounds are not necessarily stressful but noises usually are. Noise is defined as "unwanted sound", and noise usually persists if it is beyond one's control. Research on learned helplessness has shown that subjects were more likely to keep trying to solve new problems when they had some control over their experiences.

Adjustment involves identifying ways one can establish control over stressful experiences or factors. In many cases, the control may not be real, but the perception of control is sufficient to help one cope and adjust.

2. Self-Efficacy
Social Learning theorist, Albert Bandura, has argued for the value of self-efficacy, a sense of competence and effectiveness, to well-being. Self-efficacy is a product of experience with one's environment. Research has shown that apathy and helplessness in institutionalized individuals can be overcome by giving them manageable responsibilities, like caring for plants or pets. The experience of success in being effective with such care can generalize to greater responsibilities and an overall sense of self-efficacy.

3. The Stress-Resistant Personality
Research suggests that people who cope well with stress have some common abilities and qualities, including a feeling of control, a sense of commitment, and an acceptance of challenge.

Commitment involves pledging one's actions to a future goal, investing in long-term rather than immediate reward. Workers who have input into management decisions and care about the future of the company are better able to cope with job stress.

Challenge involves a moderate amount of change and adaptation that one expects to be able to meet. Contrary to "common sense" advice that we should avoid stress by "taking it easy", research indicates that challenge and novelty are important in meeting demands and developing a stress-resistant personality.

A healthy marriage is a safe haven where we can relax and recuperate from the tensions of everyday life. We need to hear positive things from our mate.

Words To Say To Your Spouse
1. Good Job
2. You are wonderful
3. That was really great
4. You look gorgeous
5. I don't feel complete without you
6. I appreciate all the things you've done for me all these years
7. You come first in my life , before kids, career, friends, anything
8. I'm glad I married you
9. You're the best friend I have
10. If I had to do it over again, I'd still marry you
11. I missed you today
12. I couldn't get you out of my mind today
13. It's nice to wake up next to you
14. I will always love you
15. I wanted you today
16. I trust you
17. I can always count on you
18. You make me feel good
19. I'm proud to be married to you
20. I'm sorry
21. I was wrong
22. What would you like?
23. What is on your mind?
24. Let me just listen
25. You are so special
26. I can't imagine life without you
27. I wish I were a better partner
28. What can I do to help?
29. I love to see your eyes sparkle when you smile
30. I'm praying for you today
31. I prize every moment we spend together
32. Thank you for loving me
33. Thank you for accepting me
34. Thank you for being my partner
35. You make everyday brighter

Responding To Stress II -- Coping

2006-12-29T19:17:00.000-08:00

Coping requires dealing with the source of stress or anxiety, not merely alleviating the symptoms. Coping involves three choices for action: confrontation, compromise and withdrawal.

1. Confrontation
In confrontation, one faces a stressful situation honestly and forthrightly. This may involve intensifying effort, learning new skills, or enlisting others' aid.

For example, a woman who is worried about paying the bills may confront her situation by selling her car and using public transportation instead, or moving to a smaller apartment, and packing lunches instead of eating out. In contrast, defensive responses like shopping for fun and going out with friends might improve her mood in the short run but will only worsen the situation.

A key experience in many confrontations is anger, the emotional readiness to act aggressively. Anger can be experienced constructively, as a way to make a grievance known. Assertive behaviour can be learned to correct injustices without becoming aggressive. Humor can also be employed to relieve tension and restore perspective.

2. Compromise
Compromise is one of the most effective and common ways of coping with conflict. In compromise, each party in the conflict gains something and sacrifices something. A woman wants her husband to accompany her to a movie, while he wants to watch a game on television. By compromising they could agree that she will run errands while he watches television undisturbed, and after the game they will go to dinner and a movie. He agrees to go out later but gets to watch the game, and she agrees to wait but gets to go out later.

A creative variation on compromise is collaboration, in which the two parties work together on a solution to their problem.

3. Withdrawal
Sometimes the best response to conflict is to remove oneself or withdraw from the situation. A victim of abuse may be better off escaping the abusive household than either staying and trying vainly to change the abuser or calling on police to "teach him a lesson".

Withdrawal as a coping response should not be confused with avoidance learning or learned helplessness. Withdrawing form a severe conflict will not necessarily teach one to avoid or give up in all future conflict experiences. When faced realistically, withdrawal from hopeless conflict may be the only effective response an individual can choose.

There is nothing more painful than having unhealthy communication with the one you love. It is through communication that we connect and our spirits touch. If that connection becomes contaminated, it is only a matter of time before the whole relationship is poisoned. In the process of communication, wisdom is knowing what not to say rather than what to say.

25 Things Not To Say To Your Spouse
1. I told you so.
2. You're just like your mother.
3. You're always in a bad mood.
4. You just don't think.
5. It's your fault.
6. What's wrong with you?
7. All you ever do is complain.
8. I can't do anything to please you.
9. You get what you deserve.
10. Why don't you ever listen to me?
11. Can't you be more responsible?
12. What were you thinking?
13. You're impossible!
14. I don't know why I put up with you.
15. I can talk to you until I 'm blue in the face and it doesn't do any good.
16. I can do whatever I like.
17. If you don't like it, you can just leave.
18. Can't you do anything right?
19. That was stupid.
20. All you ever do is think of yourself.
21. If you really loved me, you'd do this.
22. You're such a baby.
23. What's your problem?
24. I can never understand you.
25. Do you always have to be right?

Responding To Stress I - Defending

2006-12-28T18:11:00.000-08:00

Responding to stress generally takes one of two forms: defending or coping. Defending behaviours reduce the stress or anxiety without eliminating the source. Coping responses restore balance and remove the threat. Because coping requires resources like strength and time, most early responses to stress are defensive rather than effective in coping.

Defensive reactions to stress, conflict and anxiety can involve either palliative treatments or defense mechanisms.

A. Palliative Measures
Palliative measures are treatments that alleviate the pain or distress without effecting a cure. Some palliatives are medicinal, such as taking a pain-relieving drug for a tension headache(instead of identifying and removing the source of tension). Others are distracting or numbing, such as drinking alcohol or taking psychoactive drugs to forget about problems or reduce anxiety.

Obviously, palliative measures can solve an immediate problem(symptomatic distress) but increase the risk of a greater problem in the long term. Like other defensive measures, palliatives may ultimately make the effects of stress even worse than before they were applied.

B. Defense Mechanisms
According to psychoanalytic theories of personality, a product of unconscious conflicts is anxiety, a feeling of dread or fear. Because the conflicts are unconscious, they cannot be recognized or addressed in a directly conscious behavioural strategy. As a result, behaviour is likely to become defensive rather than to effectively cope.

The behavioural strategies or responses made to alleviate or reduce anxiety are termed defense mechanisms. Freud and other psychoanalytic theories identified a number of patterns in defense mechanisms. Here, nine of them: repression, denial, displacement, projection, regression, reaction formation, rationalization, intellectualization and sublimation, will be examined.

1. Repression
Repression is the most common defense mechanism and underlies all the others. In repression, painful thoughts are excluded from conscious awareness. A student ill-prepared for work in a college course 'forgets' that the examination is scheduled for today. A victim of child abuse cannot remember exactly how he was bruised.

2. Denial
Denial involves behaviours that reduce the severity or importance of unpleasant information. In denial one refuses to acknowledge a painful reality. A woman whose husband has left her tells her friends they have agreed to a trial separation. A man who has chest pains decides it must be indigestion (rather than a heart problem) and chooses to buy an antacid rather than consult a physician.

3. Displacement
In displacement one redirects emotions and motives from their original targets to substituted objects. After being criticized unfairly by her boss, a woman returns home and starts an argument with her husband, displacing her aggression form her employer to her spouse. Positive feelings can also be displaced. A shy young man who loves an attractive, popular woman may redirect his attentions to her less intimidating, more approachable best friend.

4. Projection
In projection one attributes one's own motives or feelings to someone else. A man who has cheated on his wife may feel guilty at first, and then angry, accusing his wife of having cheated on him. Participants in failed ventures may later accuse each other with 'it was all your idea'. Projection allows one the opportunity to relocate the problem outside of oneself.

5. Regression
One regresses when one's behaviour takes an immature form, like whining, throwing a tantrum, or bullying. It is a common reaction to frustration. An older child who is jealous of her parents' attentions to a new baby may resurrect her own 'cute' infantile behaviours in an effort to win their attentions again. A man who is angry at his wife's insistence on visiting her family may pout and complain until they leave.

6. Reaction Formation
Sometimes a person is motivated in ways that he or she knows are unacceptable to cultural or religious values. If the unacceptable goal is attractive, he or she may develop a reaction formation by excessively attacking or eliminating it. Reaction formation expresses the opposite of the individual's true feelings. A worker who is jealous of a colleague's success may exaggeratedly praise his work. A woman who feels guilty about disliking her own child may become inordinately protective and affectionate. A community leader with a secret interest in pornography may become a hostile anti-pornography, pro-censorship crusader. Exaggeration and fanaticism are the hallmarks of reaction formation.

7. Rationalization
Rationalization involves inventing acceptable reasons for one's behaviour. An alcoholic will justify 'one more drink' by arguing that it will relax him and help him again the strength to abstain. A consumer who has paid too much for a vehicle because it is attractive justifies the purchase as a good investment with high resale value. Rationalization is also a process involved in self-justification in the wake of cognitive dissonance.

8. Intellectualization
Sometimes emotional conflicts can be made bearable by analyzing them in an intellectual, unemotional way, a process called intellectualization. Surgeons and nurses who face life-and-death crises may discuss them in cold, clinical terms, or even make macabre jokes. A leader who advocates war may talk of 'deploying a weapons system targeted at guerrilla headquarters' instead of bombing a town full of men, women and children.

9. Sublimation
For Freud, all defense mechanisms involved the dangers of maladjustment and increased anxiety -- except sublimation. Sublimation is a process of transforming unconscious conflict into a more socially acceptable form. An aggressive child works to become a star athlete instead of a violent criminal. A person suffering from unrequited love devotes effort to loving and caring for unwanted children. Freud believed that sublimation might be a necessary strategy for reconciling one's selfish urges to the constraints of civilized society.

The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty:
not knowing what comes next. ~ Ursula LeGuin

The world around us changes constantly. Trees turn from green to beautiful shades of yellow, orange, and brown in the fall.

Yet, even if we watched the trees carefully, every minute of the day, we could not actually see the colors change.

Change requires time, preparation, and patience.

To make the changes we want, we need to let go of unhealthy but comfortable patterns that we're stuck in, the way the trees let their colors change and finally let go of their leaves altogether.

We can't have total change right now, no matter how much we want it.

It's important to accept both who we are now and who we are becoming.

Just as the tree trusts without question that its leaves will grow and let go of them when the time comes, we can believe in our own power to grow and let go of our accomplishments when the time is right.

When we do, we can be assured that our lives will blossom again, like trees in the spring coming to life after a cold winter.

Sources Of Stress IV - Extreme Stressors

2006-12-27T08:27:00.000-08:00

Laboratory research on stress necessarily involves only mild and short-term stressors. Real-life stressors are unconstrained by such ethical considerations. Naturalistic observation has identified stress response patterns in the wake of extreme stressors like natural and technological disasters, personal losses, and societal changes. We can identify five major categories of such extreme stressors: unemployment, relationship termination, bereavement, combat, and environmental disasters.

1. Unemployment
Increases in the rate of joblessness have been correlated with mental and physical illness and suicide. People seem to react to the loss of a job in four stages: First they are confident of reemployment; secondly they actively job-seek; thirdly they suffer from doubt and deteriorated relations with others; and finally, feeling cynical and unhealthy, they give up.

Evidence indicates that the effects of unemployment are, like other life changes, to exacerbate existing problems rather than create new ones. Similar effects are ironically observable after economic upturns, another form of life change.

2. Relationship Termination
Divorce and separation are major sources of stress, whether one seeks to end a relationship or is the victim of rejection or abandonment. After separation, an individual experiences separation distress, a reaction to loss of an attachment figure. Emotions become labile(suddenly, dramatically changeable) and ambivalent. Insomnia, lethargy, preoccupation, and depression are not uncommon. Loneliness is experienced because one has lost both one's intimate partner and one's social connection with the community.

3. Bereavement
It is not surprising that death of one's spouse tops the list of stressful life changes. Reactions to loss through death involve disruption in activity and change in identity. Grief work -- behavioural and emotional strategies to cope the the death of a loved one -- involves a likely sequence of numbness, despair, yearning, depression and apathy, before achievement of acceptance. Bereavement, like responses to separation and divorce, is often characterized by the use of defense mechanisms such as denial and displacement.

4. Combat
After World War I, psychologists identified the syndrome of 'shell shock', in which soldiers were disabled by their responses to the trauma of warfare. Common symptoms subsequently observed among veterans of other wars include low threshold for frustration, sponstaneous crying or rage, sleeplessness, fear of sudden noises, and confusion. Effects have sometimes been long-term. The condition, identified among Vietnam veterans, has been labeled the posttraumatic stress disorder.

5. Environmental Disasters
Reactions to catastrophes like earthquakes, floods, hurricanes, fires, and plane crashes appear to involve at least three common stages. In the shock stage, victims appear stunned, dazed, numb, or even amnesic. in the suggestible stage, victims passively cooperate with their rescuers and therapists. In the third stage, recovery, anxiety threatens regaining emotional stability, and victims may repeat their stories in an effort to control and understand. Some research suggests the development of later stages involving guilt for having survived when others did not.

Nobody told me how hard and lonely change is. ~ Joan Gilbertson

Pain, repeatedly experienced, indicates a need for self-assessment, an inventory of our behavior. Honest self-appraisal may well call for change, a change in attitude perhaps, a change in specific behavior in some instances, or maybe a change in direction. We get off the right path occasionally, but go merrily on our way until barriers surface, doors close, and experiences become painful.

Most of us willingly wallow in our pain a while, not because we like it, but because its familiarity offers security. We find some comfort in our pain because at least it holds no surprises.

When our trust in God is high, we are more willing to change. And we open ourselves to the indications for movement in a new direction.

Each of us must find our own willingness. Each of us must develop attentiveness to the signs that repeatedly invite changes in our behavior. But most of all, each of us has to travel the road to change, singly.

Changes we must find the courage to make will never be exactly like someone else's changes.

Sources Of Stress III

2006-12-26T08:25:00.000-08:00

Hassles And Pressure
Much of the stress of modern life arises from self-imposed expectations and 'nonevents' like waiting, disappointments, and boredom.

Hassles
Hassles are small-scale annoyances, irritations and frustrations. Hassles include lost keys and umbrellas, being stuck in traffic, getting a busy signal, and having minor arguments with others. While no hassle alone can trigger dangerous levels of stress response, hassles tend to accumulate and the resultant stress level builds.

Pressure
Pressure is experienced when expectations or demands for behaviour increase. As a result, we feel forced to speed up our actions, hurry our decisions or intensify our efforts. Pressures can come from internal sources, as when we worry about our own appearances, grades or performances. They can also come from external sources, such as parents, peers, employers, and cultural norms about what is considered attractive, popular or successful.

The Type A Personality
Research has identified a sort of stress-prone personality profile, dubbed the Type A personality. The Type A personality is characterized by perfectionism, an obsession with time and punctuality, and high standards for performance. Type A's are highly competitive and often achieve success and rewards for this behaviour pattern. They are often impatient, angry and frustrated, especially when prevented from completing tasks well or on time, as when traffic delays their travel or others are not punctual.

The Type A personality was originally identified when it was found to be a behaviour pattern associated with a greater risk for heart disease. Type A behaviour is thus considered coronary-prone behaviour. The opposite pattern has been labeled Type B, a profile that is relaxed, unhurried, and cooperative rather than competitive.

The Type A pattern is probably learned over many years, and strategies for change involve learning new behaviours. Thus Type A 's might reduce their risk of heart disease and other stress-related ailments by learning to wait patiently, relax and manage stress.

Life Changes
A common-sense approach to stress suggests that we are stressed by unpleasant experiences like threat and conflict. An illuminating area of research, however, has indicated that any kind of life change -- whether it requires a major or minor alteration in subsequent behaviour -- acts as a stressor.

Research by Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe in the 1950d and 1960s resulted in development of a scale of illness-producing life changes. The 'top 10' life changes on the list, in descending order of magnitude, includes the following:

death of a spouse
divorce
marital separation
jail term
death of close family member
personal injury or illness
marriage
loss of job
marital reconciliation
retirement

Not all these experiences are usually considered unpleasant, but all do initiate changed and adaptive behaviour, activating the stress response system.

Sources Of Stress II - Frustration & Conflict

2006-12-25T07:15:00.000-08:00

Hurried and worried until we're buried, And there's no curtain call,
Life's a very funny proposition, after all. ~ George M. Cohan

Frustration
Frustration is the experience of having one's path or access to a goal blocked. A goal may be blocked because an obstacle has been introduced to prevent access, as when a roadblock stops a vehicle from continuing to its destination. Alternatively a goal may be inaccessible because one lacks the resources to approach it, as when the vehicle is out of gas.

Psychologists have identified three general reactions to frustration: aggression, regression and nonaction.

Three General Reactions To Frustration

1. Aggression
The classic reaction to frustration is aggression. Aggressive behaviour intends harm, in this case originally to the source of the frustration. For example, if a rival steals one's mate, the jilted lover will make the rival the target of aggression. Aggression can be displaced onto a safer, less retaliatory target. A student who is frustrated by having received a low grade on a test may express anger at his roommate rather than his professor. Finally, aggression may cause damage without alleviating frustration. Feeling frustrated because a vending machine has kept one's money but not produced the ordered soft drink, one may kick the machine in anger, leaving a dent but retrieving no reward.

2. Regression
Regressive behaviour reflects the immature tactics of an early age. A frustrated friend may whine childishly to get his or her way or win attention. A frustrated manager may bully his coworkers, arousing their fear but not winning their respect.

3. Nonaction
Finally, repeated frustration may result in nonaction, which may appear to be apathy, or a lack of concern. A more common explanation is that the frustrated individual suffers from learned helplessness. A wife who has been battered may fail to seek escape or help because she believes such efforts would do no good. A college student who has tried and failed to register for two closed classes may give up before attempting a third, although that one may well be open.

Research and therapy suggest that these unproductive responses to frustration can be modified through learning and changed reinforcement contingencies. Aggressive and regressive individuals can learn to be assertive and independent. Helpless individuals can learn to make efforts when their goals are attainable and rewards are immediate.

Let us open our natures, throw wide the doors of our hearts
and let in the sunshine of good will and kindness. ~ O. S. Marden

Conflict
Conflict is probably the most common stressor. Conflict is the experience of incompatible goals or demands. Two people are in conflict when they seek the same limited resource: if one acquires it, the other will not.

Gestalt psychologist Kurt Lewin (1890-1947) described conflict as involving two kinds of forces between persons and goal-objects: approach and avoidance. Approach is the attraction toward a desired goal, while avoidance is the aversion felt toward an undesirable state or event. Given that conflict involves two or more incompatible goals, approach and avoidance combine to form various forms of conflict.

1. Approach-Approach Conflict
In approach-approach conflict, one must choose between two mutually exclusive attractive goals. For example, a college applicant may have to choose between attending a large university in an exciting urban setting or a small high-quality school in a beautiful scenic region.

2. Avoidance-Avoidance Conflict
An unpleasant experience is avoidance-avoidance conflict, where one must choose which of two threatening or unpleasant possibilities can be escaped. For example, one may have a severe toothache but fear the pain involved in visiting the dentist. Coping with such conflict usually involves choosing the 'lesser of two evils', as in facing brief dental treatment to prevent a worsening tooth disease.

3. Approach-Avoidance Conflict
The most difficult conflicts to resolve are approach-avoidance conflicts, where one is both attracted and repelled by the same goal. For example, a college student may want to marry rather than delay being with a partner, but fear the loss of freedom and the burden of responsibility involved in young marriage.

Approach-avoidance conflicts are complex and difficult to resolve, because both the attraction and the repulsion create tension, especially as the goal comes closer (eg. a deadline for making a decision approaches). Avoidance becomes stronger than approach, however, with the result that one often panics, pulls back, becomes attracted again, and continues in a cycle of vacillation until matters are otherwise resolved.

Sources Of Stress I - Modern Stressors

2006-12-24T06:26:00.000-08:00

Modern work on stress has gained popular interest because of numerous identifications of environmental stressors. Both daily hassles like commuting and crowding and traumatic experiences such as natural and technological disasters, have been linked with subsequent symptoms of stress. For example, victims of hurricane damage may show increased physical signs of stress months after the crisis has passed.

The irony of human stress response is that it is an effective system for responding to basic stressors, but in response to excessive or incessant demands it can become a source of breakdown and illness.

Primitive Mortal Threats
Primitive stressors could be coped with through normal resistance, the 'fight or flight' behaviour pattern.

The human stress response is a legacy of our primitive human ancestors. The fight or flight response was effective for the three basic mortal threats to primitive human life: starvation, exposure, and attack.

Primitive humans needed the energization of the stress response to gather and secure food to stave off starvation. Thus hungry people feel energized before they become too weakened by hunger to find food.

Primitive humans also needed the energy to find shelter and protection against the elements and weather extremes.

Finally, primitive humans needed a quick fight or flight pattern to respond expediently to the threat of attack from predators or aggressive humans.

Modern Stress
Modern humans living in industrial societies are seldom challenged by these three primitive 'mortal threats'. Modern stress research attributes excessive stress response to our tendency to interpret many events as 'threatening'. Once having interpreted an event as a stressor, we reflexively initiate the stress-response activity of the autonomic nervous system.

Research has identified several kinds of events and experiences to be likely candidates for interpretations as "stressors".

Modern stressors include

Frustration
Conflict
Low-level hassles and pressure
The behaviour of the Type A personality
Major life changes, and
Extreme stressors such as Trauma and Environmental Disaster

Women like to sit down with trouble as if it were knitting. ~ Ellen Glasgow

How often we turn minor challenges into monumental barriers by giving them undue attention, forgetting that within any problem lies its solution!

However, the center of our focus must be off the problem's tangle if we are to find the solution's thread. The best remedy for this dilemma is the Serenity Prayer.

We cannot change our children, our husbands or partners, not even the best friends who we know love us. But with God's help we can change the attitude that has us blocked at this time.

A changed attitude, easing up on ourselves, lessening our expectations of others, will open the door to the kind of relationships we seek, the smooth flowing days we long for.

We need not take life so seriously. In fact, we shouldn't take it so seriously. We can measure our emotional health by how heartily we laugh with others and at ourselves.

The 24 hours stretching before us at this time promises many choices in attitude. We can worry, be mad, depressed, or frustrated, or we can trust our higher power to see us through whatever the situation.

So, we can relax.

It is our decision, the one decision over which we are not powerless.

Stress Response

2006-12-23T01:06:00.000-08:00

It was by chance that Hans Selye (1907-1982) stumbled upon the idea of the General Adaptation Syndrome (G.A.S.), which he first wrote about in the British journal Nature in the summer of 1936. The G.A.S., alternately known as the stress syndrome, is what Selye came to call the process under which the body confronts "stress" (what he first called "noxious agents"). In the G.A.S., Selye explained, the body passes through three universal stages of coping. First there is an "alarm reaction," in which the body prepares itself for "fight or flight." No organism can sustain this condition of excitement, however, and a second stage of adaptation ensues (provided the organism survives the first stage). In the second stage, a resistance to the stress is built. Finally, if the duration of the stress is sufficiently long, the body eventually enters a stage of exhaustion, a sort of aging "due to wear and tear."

Modern research on stress began with observations that many physical illnesses, termed psychosomatic disorders, were partially caused by psychological factors. The most common psychosomatic disorders are ulcers, hypertension(high blood pressure), migraine headaches, and various skin ailments. For example, an executive may understand that her ulcer is aggravated 'by worrying' although worry itself must be physically processed to create her symptoms.

In the late 1930s the Canadian physiologist Hans Selye discovered a pattern of physical symptoms emerging among animals subjected to a variety of stressors. Regardless of the nature of the stress -- whether injection of a mild irritant or subjection to extreme cold -- the animals showed the sighs of excessive endocrine activity and gastric ulceration. Selye's research led to identification of the general adaptation syndrome (G.A.S).

Selye's work suggested that the psychophysical connection in psychosomatic disease was stress and the body's response to it. In his research with animals, Selye identified three stages of a general adaptation syndrome, a physiological and psychological pattern of symptoms in the wake of a stressor event. These three stages are termed alarm, resistance and exhaustion.

1. The Alarm Stage
In the alarm stage, an event is interpreted as a stressor and bodily reactions are triggered. Alarm involves two phases, shock and countershock.

During the first phase of alarm, the shock phase, signals from the brain(the cortex and hypothalamus) initiate the activity of the adrenal glands. The adrenal medulla secretes adrenaline directly into the bloodstream. The effect of adrenaline is heightened heart rate and respiration, as well as other consequences of sympathetic nervous activity.

A 'backup' response is initiated by hypothalamic stimulation of the pituitary gland, which begins a sequence of hormonal messages to the adrenal cortex. The adrenal cortex produces corticosteroids, hormones which energize striated muscle strength and endurance. Steroid effects are visible in one's ability to continue running from danger even after the initial adrenaline rush, as well as in the shakiness and weak-kneed sensation that can follow a stressful or frightening experience.

The second phase, countershock, restores and conserves physical energy through rapid response of the parasympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system. For example, on first seeing a threatening situation, a person in shock will gasp, experience a rapid heart rate, and react reflexively(shock). Soon thereafter she may feel faint as her body reacts to the sudden expenditure of energy(countershock).

2. Resistance
During the second stage, resistance, physical defenses are employed in response to the threat identified in the alarm stage. The activity of the sympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system takes the form of 'fight or flight'.

If the threat can be attacked('fight'), rsources will be directed to the upper body, and the individual will strike and dodge.

If the threat can be escaped('flight'), energy and strength (in the form of increase blood supply and muscle tension) will be channeled to the lower-body muscles, and the threatened individual will run.

If the threat is more subtle, like increasing cold, one's resistance will be as subtle as piloerection(body hairs rising to create some insulation) and shivering(which keeps the body moving and circulation active).

Resistance then can take the forms of both physical reflexes and behavioural reactions.

3. Exhaustion
In most experiences of stress, resistance strategies will succeed in solving the problem. The cold person will stay alive and awake long enough to find shelter. The person who is attacked will escape or defend herself.

However, if resistance fails to reduce the stressor(if one continues to interpret events as requiring adaptation), one enters the third stage, exhaustion.

In exhaustion, the physical activity begun in the alarm stage begins again. The danger in exhausting is that the body has fewer resources to expend in its weakened state. Continued, unrelieved sympathetic arousal results in the breakdown of the body's stress response systems. Consequences will take the form of endocrine, vascular, muscular, and gastric illness and symptoms.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear not absence of fear. ~ Mark Twain

It is not unusual to feel afraid. It is unusual, however, to hear anyone admit to feeling afraid.
Sometimes we think there are some people who are so cool and calm that they never feel afraid. This may make us think we're not as good because we know how often we feel afraid.

This is why it is important to think about what courage really is. It is not the absence of fear.

Courage is not letting fear stop us from doing what we need to do.

We might have to get up in front of a group to give a speech. We could give in to our fear and not give the speech, or we could admit our fear to those who love us, and then go ahead and do the best we can.

To go ahead in the face of fear is courage.

The Concept Of Stress

2006-12-22T03:56:00.000-08:00

Hans Selye - Physician, Endocrinologist, Researcher - Founder of the concept of Stress: The "Einstein of Medicine!"

Dr. Hans Selye was the pioneer in research into stress. As early as his second year of medical school (1926), he began developing his now-famous theory of the influence of stress on people's ability to cope with and adapt to the pressures of injury and disease. He discovered that patients with a variety of ailments manifested many similar symptoms, which he ultimately attributed to their bodies' efforts to respond to the stresses of being ill. He called this collection of symptoms--this separate stress disease--stress syndrome, or the general adaptation syndrome (GAS).

He spent a lifetime in continuing research on GAS and wrote some 30 books and more than 1,500 articles on stress and related problems, including Stress without Distress (1974) and The Stress of Life (1956). So impressive have his findings and theories been that some authorities refer to him as "the Einstein of medicine."

More than anyone else, Selye has demonstrated the role of emotional responses in causing or combating much of the wear and tear experienced by human beings throughout their lives.

Stress is any demand or set of demands requiring adaptation. The word "stress" derives from the Latin stringere, "to stretch". The term implies a stretching of physical and psychological resources to meet demands placed on an organism.

Hans Selye first popularized the concept of “stress” in the 1950s. Selye theorized that all individuals respond to all types of threatening situations in the same manner, and he called this the General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS). Hans SelyeHe claimed that, in addition to SNS arousal, other bodily systems such as the adrenal cortex and pituitary gland may be involved in a response to threat. For example, chemicals such as epinephrine (adrenaline) may serve to focus the body’s attention just on immediate self-preservation by inhibiting such functions as digestion, reproduction, tissue repair, and immune responses. Ultimately, as the threat wanes, Selye suggested, body functions return to normal, allowing the body to focus on healing and growth again. But if the threat is prolonged and chronic, the SNS arousal never gets “turned off,” and health can be impaired. With a continuously suppressed immune system, for example, a person would be more vulnerable than usual to infection—which is one explanation of why some individuals get sick so often.

And, regardless of whether Selye was right or not, psychology, as well as medicine and popular culture, have accepted the concept of “stress” as an unpleasant fact of life.

What stress is not
The word stress has been used so loosely, and so many confusing definitions of it have been formulated, that I think it will be best to start by clearly stating what it is not. Contrary to current popular or medical opinion:

1. Stress is not nervous tension. Stress reactions do occur in lower animals and even in plants, which have no nervous system. The general manifestations of an alarm reaction can be induced by mechanically damaging a denervated limb. Indeed, stress can be produced under deep anesthesia in patients who are unconscious, and even in cell cultures grown outside the body.

2. Stress is not an emergency discharge of hormones from the adrenal medulla. An adrenaline discharge is frequently seen in acute stress affecting the whole body, but it plays no conspicuous role in generalized inflammatory diseases (arthritis, tuberculosis) although they can also produce considerable stress. Nor does an adrenaline discharge play any role in "local stress" reactions, limited to directly injured regions of the body.

3. Stress is not that which causes a secretion by the adrenal cortex of its hormones (the corticoids). ACTH, the adrenal-stimulating pituitary hormone, can discharge these hormones without producing any evidence of stress.

4. Stress is not the nonspecific result of damage only. Normal and even pleasant activities - a game of tennis or a passionate kiss - can produce considerable stress without causing conspicuous damage.

5. Stress Is not the deviation from homeostasis, the steady state of the body. Any specific biologic function, e.g., the perception of sound or light, the contraction of a muscle, eventually causes marked deviations from the normal resting state in the active organs. This is undoubtedly associated with some local demand for increased vital activity, but it can cause only "local stress" and even this does not necessarily parallel the intensity of the specific activity.

6. Stress is not that which causes an alarm reaction. The stressor does that, not stress itself.

7. Stress is not identical with the alarm reaction or with the G.A.S. as a whole. These are characterized by certain measurable organ changes which are caused by stress.

8. Stress itself is not a nonspecific reaction. The pattern of the stress reaction is very specific: it affects certain organs (e.g., the adrenal, the thymus, the gastrointestinal tract) in a highly selective manner.

9. Stress is not a reaction to a specific thing. The stress response can be produced by virtually any agent.

10. Stress is not necessarily undesirable. It all depends on how you take it. The stress of failure, humiliation, or infection is detrimental; but that of exhilarating, creative, successful work is beneficial. The stress reaction, like energy consumption, may have good or bad effects.

11. Stress cannot and should not be avoided. Everybody is always under some degree of stress. Even while quietly asleep our heart must continue to beat, our lungs to breathe, and even our brain works in the form of dreams. Stress can be avoided only by dying. The statement "He is under stress" is just as meaningless as "He is running a temperature. " What we actually refer to by means of such phrases is an excess of stress or of body temperature.

"Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love or exercise."

Stress And Conflict

2006-12-21T03:15:00.000-08:00

At one time or another, most people experience stress. The term stress has been used to describe a variety of negative feelings and reactions that accompany threatening or challenging situations. However, not all stress reactions are negative. A certain amount of stress is actually necessary for survival. For example, birth is one of the most stressful experiences of life. The high level of hormones released during birth, which are also involved in the stress response, are believed to prepare the newborn infant for adaptation to the challenges of life outside the womb. These biological responses to stress make the newborn more alert promoting the bonding process and, by extension, the child's physical survival. The stress reaction maximizes the expenditure of energy which helps prepare the body to meet a threatening or challenging situation and the individual tends to mobilize a great deal of effort in order to deal with the event. Both the sympathetic/adrenal and pituitary/adrenal systems become activated in response to stress.

Stress has generally been viewed as a set of neurological and physiological reactions that serves an adaptive function. Traditionally, stress research has been oriented toward studies involving the body's reaction to stress and the cognitive processes that influence the perception of stress. However, social perspectives of the stress response have noted that different people experiencing similar life conditions are not necessarily affected in the same manner. Research into the societal and cultural influences of stress may make it necessary to re-examine how stress is defined and studied.

There are a number of definitions of stress as well as number of events that can lead to the experience of stress. People say they are stressed when they take an examination, when having to deal with a frustrating work situation, or when experiencing relationship difficulties. Stressful situations can be viewed as harmful, as threatening, or as challenging. With so many factors that can contribute to stress it can be difficult to define the concept of "stress". Hans Selye (1982) points out that few people define the concept of stress in the same way or even bother to attempt a clear-cut definition. According to Selye, an important aspect of stress is that a wide variety of dissimilar situations are capable of producing the stress response such as fatigue, effort, pain, fear, and even success. This has led to several definitions of stress, each of which highlights different aspects of stress. One of the most comprehensive models of stress is the Biopsychosocial Model of Stress. According to the Biopsychosocial Model of Stress, stress involves three components: an external component, an internal component, and the interaction between the external and internal components.

Conflict is a state of opposition, disagreement or incompatibility between two or more people or groups of people, which is sometimes characterized by physical violence. Military conflict between states may constitute war.

In political terms, "conflict" refers to an ongoing state of hostility between two or more groups of people.

Conflict as taught for graduate and professional work in conflict resolution commonly has the definition: "when two or more parties, with perceived incompatible goals, seek to undermine each other's goal-seeking capability".

One should not confuse the distinction between the presence and absence of conflict with the difference between competition and co-operation. In competitive situations, the two or more parties each have mutually inconsistent goals, so that when either party tries to reach their goal it will undermine the attempts of the other to reach theirs. Therefore, competitive situations will by their nature cause conflict. However, conflict can also occur in cooperative situations, in which two or more parties have consistent goals, because the manner in which one party tries to reach their goal can still undermine the other.

A clash of interests, values, actions or directions often sparks a conflict. Conflicts refer to the existence of that clash. Psychologically, a conflict exists when the reduction of one motivating stimulus involves an increase in another, so that a new adjustment is demanded. The word is applicable from the instant that the clash occurs. Even when we say that there is a potential conflict we are implying that there is already a conflict of direction even though a clash may not yet have occurred.

Stress and conflict are a normal part of life, and healthy behaviour involves the ability to cope and adapt. Psychologists make a distinction between behaviour that successfully defends and copes and behaviour that fails to adapt and resolve conflict.

Don't Quit
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
when he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worse,
that you must not quit.

Moments Of Life

2006-12-19T06:13:00.000-08:00

Life is a mystery. You do not know what will happen the next moment. Life can be long and can be short. It can be happy and it can be torturous too. Depending on how you look at it, life can be meaningful, it can also be not meaningful at all. The motivating force in life is our loved ones. Yet the opposite is true also -- the death of our loved ones can destroy a person life when the person cannot accept the lost of a loved one.

Often when we lost our loved ones, we are filled with regrets and feel remorseful about it. Why? In order to catch up with the pace of society, and to achieve fame, power and wealth, a lot of people are busy climbing up the ladder to reach their dreams. While busy climbing the ladder, they had spent lesser time with their loved ones. They become more impatient and they love money more than kind words of advice. They could be immoral and unrighteous when seeking their own dreams to be fulfilled.

Since life can be so unpredictable, and life is not eternal, why don't we treasure what we have now instead of pursuing something which we have no control over. No doubt, we need to save for our future, but we also need to maintain a balance in whatever things we do. We must spend equally amount of time for our family, friends and work.

Life is not eternal. We cannot shower our loved ones with love the moment they are dead. When it comes to a love relationship, there is no guarantee to everlasting love also. Our love for our loved one does not cease when they are gone. A true love for our loved ones will always stay in our hearts even when they were 'gone' or dead.

A life spent feeling 'well-spent' is when you put in your full effort and you know you have done your best in it. When it comes to love, the same thing applies. It takes effort to make a relationship works. You need to watch your words being said to your partner, say the right words and make your partner happy. Saying 'I love you' to your partner is not loving your partner when you try to satisfy your sexual desire by seeking another partner. Saying "I love you" means you really mean what you say and you really 'think' only of your only loved partner. You are willing to share weal and woes with your loved ones. When you said 'I love you', you are prepared to use all your effort and strength, with all your might and spirit, to make the love relationship works. You want to know what your partner like and dislikes. You do not want to disappoint your partner. You would try ways and means to make your partner or spouse happy.

However, for some relationship, a lot of time when you have done all you could to your partner or spouse, yet your partner or spouse did not appreciate you. Breakups, separation and divorce are very common nowadays. When you have put in your effort and you have not done your partner wrong in any way, your conscience is clear, then you treat it as a short course of meal. There is no dessert being served. Go eat another meal. When you never try you never knows. The other meal might be even more delicious than this meal! Even if the relationship did not work out well, at least you know you have done your best.

Life is precious. If you do not know the meaning of life, ask the importance of life to a woman who lost her baby in a miscarriage. Ask the meaning of life to someone who has lost their kins. If you do not know how precious is life, discover the importance of it when you had a life taken away from you.

Treasure life. Treasure all the important people around you. Take good care of yourself so that your loved ones will not feel sad over you. Take good care of your loved ones, treat them well. When sickness strikes or premature death happens to them, you will not be filled with remorse and regret. Life is more meaningful when you know you have contributed your values and service to people around you. Life is more meaningful when you have made the world a better place for everyone around you. Life is meaningful for you if you try your best to serve your love ones with your heart and soul -- treat them nicely and make people around you happier.

How the future works out doesn't matter. It is important to plan for the future. You need to visualize what you want in life. You need to dream for future. However, certain things in our life are beyond our control. Work hard and put effort in fulfilling your dream. Everyday when you have done what you should do, spent every moment of your time well, and the future will work out well itself.

The Future Doesn't Matter, Every Moment of Life Now Matters.
The future doesn't matter. Future works out well if you plan and work for it. Dream of what you want. Plan for your future -- your retirement income needs, seeking for your life partner or do you wish to be single, your accomodation needs and so on. Money are important in fulfilling most of the needs and for survival of your daily necessities. If you are very clear what you want in the future, then everyday you walk towards your plan for the future. In this way the future will work well by itself. However, many times, we might slack and we never carry out what we plan for. We might not have enough retirement income to maintain our daily living needs at that time. But the future doesn't matter as compared to now. The most important moment is now. If there's a will, there's a way. Even if your plan don't work out well, there's always a way out. The only obstacles that is hardest to overcome is your mind. With a positive mindset, a failure can be turn into an opportunity!

Once again, the most important thing is to treasure every moment of your life. The future doesn't matter. Treasure every moments of life. It matters.

Motivating Moments

2006-12-03T09:10:00.000-08:00

Everybody must have an ambition in life. You must have a dream. You must have goals in your life. If you have no dreams, no goals, no ambition in life, then life is meaningless. You are not making full use of your life. If you do not have any dreams or goals in your life, start thinking now. When you have goals or dreams in your life, you are living life purposefully and you are experiencing life's ups and downs through the journey of achieving your goals and dreams.

It's through the many trials and errors, through many failures in your life, when you fall down and you get up again, you understand the yourself more. You learn from your mistakes in life. You experience sadness and grief, and then you gain happiness and joy later. It's never always a level plateau. Everything happens for a reason. Aim towards your goals in life, walk with determination and focus properly, don't allow distraction to slow you down to your destination. When you tripped, stand up and don't give up. Rest if you want, after that, continue your journey again. Life is a journey. You never seem to reach your final destination. You probably have many destination to go in life. Go to each destination one at a time. Then you won't be so stress. Take every step one at a time. Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Everybody should live life according to your own beliefs and principles. We must not always follow what people do. Leading is better than following. We must take control of our life. Knowing what is right and wrong, obeying the rules, obeying the ten commandments, do not commit moral sins, walking in the right path and thinking the right thoughts and thinking positively, will make us a better person. Do not think only of yourself. Think of ways to make the people around you happy. Think of ways on how you can help the people around you. When you help people, you feel happy as well.

Do not always expect people to give you happiness. Happiness is from within you. Nobody can give it to you. It's all in your mind. What you want and what you expect determine your happiness. When you are contented with what you have, when you never expect more and more, you are satisfied with what you have, you will know what is happiness when you know how to 'give' and 'take' in life.

Same place, same time, but different feelings exist when you are alone or when you are with someone else. Have you experience different kinds of feelings when you go to different places with someone you love as compared visiting the places alone or with someone you have 'no feeling'? When we are with someone we love, time spent is fast. Every moment is happy with the person. All the things around you seem nicer. All the food you eat seems to taste more delicious with the person around. The places visited with your beloved or best friends, leave happy memories, that is the happy moments you have in your life.

But when we are with a person whom we do not love or have no special feeling, time might be passing very slowly, at the end of the day, you hardly remember or want to remember this moment in your life (but you can still remember of course)!

Your best friends or your lovers will live you someday. But the happy memories will always last. The happy memories are your motivation in life. The happy moments are moments that inspire you to move on in life.

Energy is never destroyed. Energy is transferred from a place to another. This is what I have studied about energy when I was in secondary school. When you are happy, people around you can feel it. When you are sad, people can feel it also. There is a special kind of energy field around us called aura. People can feel your aura.

As mentioned earlier, happiness is a state of our mind. We can choose to occupy our brains with what kind of substances. If we choose to occupy our brain with negative foods like negative thoughts, obsession with unhappy events, revengeful thoughts, miserable thoughts, then there will be no room to occupy our brain with positive foods like positive thoughts and happy things in your life. Our brain is very important. Our body coordination, our nervous system, our ability to feel and respond, our ability to think all come from the brain.

Just like an apple which appear fresh, red and nice, might harbour worms inside. Negative thoughts are just like worms that can erode our minds. If we choose to harbour our brain with more negative thoughts, soon our brains will be filled with more bad 'worms'. And it slowly destroy your mental health, which in turns affects your physical health in time. This will soon turns you to a 'rotten apple'.

But if you choose to put healthy and nutritious food -- positive thoughts into your brain, then your brain is properly looked after. By choosing not to allow negative thoughts to come to your brain, you are declining the entry of bad 'worms' from entering your brain. One worm breeds into more worms. When one worm enters your brain, it is easy to exterminate it, fast and easy. If more worms are allowed to breeds and propagate in your brain, the time needed to exterminate it, and the time taken to heal yourself (from the harm the worms bring to you -- mental illness and physical health) will be much longer and harder to achieve.

So why choose to destroy yourself? Read good books, engage in good hobbies, think only of good thoughts that make you happy. Give and take. Forgive and forget. Sows the seeds of love around you, and you will reap the fruits of love in time to come. Some seeds remains dormant, some seeds die, but some seeds will grow and give you the results you want. Never give up sowing your seeds.

I hope these really brings motivating moments for you. Be sure to come back again to visit me at Health Motivator or Motivation Peek. I love peace. I am peace and may Peace Be With You.

Human Bonding

2006-11-13T22:23:00.000-08:00

The term human bond, or more generally human bonding, refers to the process or formation of a close personal relationship, as between a mother and child, especially through frequent or constant association. When pairs have favorable bonds, the nature of this bonding is usually attributed to "good" interpersonal chemistry. The word bond derives from the 12th century Middle English word band, meaning something that binds, ties, or restrains. Its application to interpersonal human relationships has been used intermittently ever since.

In the 4th century BC, the Greek philosopher Plato argues that love, in a way, directs the bonds of human society. In his Symposium, Eryximachus, one of the narrators in the dialog, states that love goes far beyond simple attraction to human beauty: It occurs all throughout the animal and plant kingdoms, as well as all throughout the universe. Love directs everything that occurs, in the realm of the gods as well as that of humans.

Eyrximachus reasons that when various opposing elements such as wet and dry are "animated by the proper species of Love, they are in harmony with one another . . . But when the sort of Love that is crude and impulsive controls the seasons, he brings death and destruction". As it is love that guides the relations between these sets of opposites throughout existence, in every case it is the higher form of love that brings harmony and cleaves toward the good, while the impulsive vulgar love creates disharmony.

He concludes that the highest form of love is the greatest; when love "is directed, in temperance and justice, towards the good, whether in heaven or on earth: happiness and good fortune, the bonds of human society, concord with the gods above- all these are among his gifts".

In the 1660s, the Spanish philosopher Spinoza writes, in his Ethics of Human Bondage or the Strength of the Emotions, that the term “bondage” relates to the human infirmity in moderating and checking the emotions. That is, according to Spinoza ‘when a man is prey to his emotions, he is not his own master, but lies at the mercy of fortune.’

In 1809 Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, in his classic novella Elective Affinities, speaks of the marriage tie and by analogy shows how strong marriage unions are similar in character to that by which the particles of quicksilver find a unity together though the process of chemical affinity. Goethe’s novella, in its time, was regarded as treatise on chemical origins of love. Humans in passionate relationships, according to Goethe, are analogous to reactive substances in a chemical equation.

Bond Varieties
The term “bonding” applies aptly to all variations of connections within interpersonal relationships, social networks, economic nexuses, political ties, etc. The term male bonding refers to bonding between males through shared activities excluding females or the formation of a close personal relationship between men; for example: "the rituals known as male bonding do not necessarily involve drinking beer together". The analog concept female bonding, although less frequently used, refers to the formation of a close personal relationship between women.

The familial bond defines as a uniting force, tie, or link between related family members. A related concept is bondage, being the tenure of service of a villager, serf, or slave and generally refers to a state of being bound by compulsion as via law or mastery; a bondmaid is a woman servant, a bondman is a male servant, and a bondsman is a person who provides bonds or surety for another. In the 14th century, a bondwoman was considered a female slave. The distinction is that "bonding" almost always implies a voluntary act, of entering in or remaining in relationship from a wish to do so.

A comparable analog is labor union, originating in 1866, being an organization of united workers formed for the purpose of advancing its members’ interests in respect to wages, benefits, and working conditions. The cohesion of the group is facilitated by the exchange of union dues for benefits. By uniting, the bonded group has more leverage than as compared to a collection of separate individuals.

Similar to the marriage bond, is concept of civil union. A civil union is one of several terms for a civil status similar to marriage, typically created for the purposes of allowing same-sex couples access to the benefits enjoyed by married opposite-sex peoples; it can also be used by opposite-sex couples who do not prefer to enter into the legal institution of marriage but who would rather be in a union more similar to a common-law marriage. With the popular success of the hit television show Queer Eye For The Straight Guy and others such as The Ellen DeGeneres Show, the term gay-straight bonding as well as gay bonding have come into vogue.

Bond Distinction
A common division when referring to the structural integrity of relationships or unions is to divide such bonds via a physical and a neurological component, which may or may not co-occur, i.e. into:

1. physical bond – two people bonded owing to physical adhesion.
2. neurological bond – two people bonded owing to neurological adhesion.

The physical bond is typically sexual in nature, i.e. a sexual bond, although it may refer to individuals bonded by proximity as neighbors or by blood as siblings. People bonded physically typically have a visceral connection, either via pheromone exchange, visual attraction, hormonal adhesion, etc. The neurological bond covers all varieties of mental attachment, as psychological bonds, intellectual bonds, emotional bonds, financial bonds, synergistic bonds, altruistic bonds, etc.

In 1939 psychologist Godfrey Thomson, in his Factorial Analysis of Human Ability, for example, posted theoretical “bonds” of intelligence which function in loving relationships. In Sternberg’s 1986 Triangular Theory of Love, he defined Thomson’s theory as a structural model of love where we might conceptualize love in terms of feelings that, when sampled together, yield the composite experience that we label love. Here, the composite is not an undifferentiated unity; rather, it can be decomposed into a large number of underlying bonds that tend to co-occur in certain close relationships. With reference to the triangle theory, Sternberg relates the passion component of his triangle to the physical bond and the intimacy and decision/commitment components of the triangle to the neurological bond, both of which vary in strength and intensity throughout each stage of the relationship, i.e. dating, transition, marriage, etc.

Similarly, in recent the 2006 National Geographic article “Love the Chemical Reaction” photo journalist Lauren Slater asks: “Does passion necessarily diminish over time? Can a marriage be good when Eros is replaced with friendship, or even economic partnership, two people bound by bank accounts?” Referring to her eight-year marriage, she states: “The ties that bind have been frayed by money and mortgages and children, those little imps who somehow manage to tighten the knot while weakening its actual fibers.”

Beauty Of Love
The question is asked, "Is there anything more beautiful in life than a boy and a girl clasping clean hands and pure hearts in the path of marriage? Can there be anything more beautiful than young love?"

And the answer is given. "Yes, there is a more beautiful thing. It is the spectacle of an old man and an old woman finishing their journey together on that path. Their hands are gnarled, but still clasped; their faces are seamed, but still radiant; their hearts are physically bowed and tired, but still strong with love and devotion for one another. Yes, there is a more beautiful thing than young love. Old love."